Can someone answer this?Thoughts seen on social media
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Sooo I saw a post on social media and was wondering if someone could answer this question.. Thanks in advance!
"If you pushed them away and they never came back, I think it means that they don't really understand what you are going through or maybe you just needed to push them away because you feel that they are just so toxic for you. I don't really know but I sometimes feel that there are times when you push a person away unintentionally and it usually due to depression and wanting to be alone all the time. I have been through this and I have been pushing people away even until now and if they do leave, does that mean that they are really faking the love and care that they used to give you? It's just my opinion but what are your thoughts about this"
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@barton thanks for always answering! really appreciate it a lot. All the best!
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@rosestar It means that they have a life too and tending to your feelings isn't their only job. However, Depression isn't something you can fight alone. If your friends had left you even after knowing it you chose them badly. And if they left because you havent told them the reason why you are acting like a dick, then what kind of friend are you?
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@rosestar It is up to the individual, you can't blame the friend you just pushed away. That person might understand/know what you're going through and they choose to give up on trying to help you or they don't even know how to give a hand. Personally, I suck at being a shoulder to cry on due to my rational and objective state, I'd rather say "get your shit together" than "everything's going to be fine", and that's because "man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment". Also, you can't blame the depression, you made that decision. If you don't like someone's company, at least be true to yourself and don't point fingers saying that you are not the way you want because of someone/something.
@Barton Depression is not something that just comes and go daily or weekly, it's a mental state from which only the individual itself can find a way out of it. Yes, an external factor or person might help you out, but after all, the fight has to start from inside.
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@rosestar Living a life with so much loss can rewire a brain to think of nothing but loss. A lost love one/s, a loss of security and even that personal comfort zone and what has been lead to believe. These can really throw a person to the ground. And after being dragged down there so massively and far far too often, we begin to stop bothering to get up again.
Unfortunately the mix of positive influences and experiences with a high percentage of negatives will no doubt rewire the mind to give depression, anxiety and other mental states. An understanding shoulder is a good solid help. But if that should is not strong enough to help support the individual, then they will usually run for the hills. Unconditional love does not do that. We need a strong understanding should to help. Depression is a heavy burden to carry and usually takes a couple of people to lighten that load. But having some alone time can have a positive psychological effect. We can really dig deep inside to understand what it is that keeps us down in the dumps. Then we can communicate with another so that an easier lift can be sought. Medication doesn't help though. It has never helped me. In fact in nearly lead to my demise. But I am stand up again, uneasy, but standing up.
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@scarlett some people simply never understand...and they can be huge energy vampires...the like it down there and simply refuse to come up but expect us to always be there with an extending hand... how many people be willing to do that ?
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@wowacooltopic thanks so much for your response! really appreciate it!
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@rosestar I've been married twice, and I've lived with several women before that. I prefer to live alone, though I don't like being alone. This is a psychological thing, and I know the reasons for it.
"Love" starts with lust. After the lust is gone, many married people want to be free.
If you can handle it, and if it is agreed on by both or more partners, whether married or living together, you can try an open marriage. It's difficult for most.
I think "love" is some kind of misnomer, but I've met one couple in my life who had an open marriage, and both of them were quite content with each other. The only "rule" I would insist on, in a case like that, is that both or more of the parties involved agree to the living situation. You could have two men and one woman, vice versa, or two or three couples living with each other. They might all have kids, but those kids could get different opinions from several adults.
There are any number of agreements or living arrangements people could consider. Much of what people think about a monogamous life is a societal expectation.
The initial problem can start with a simple sexual encounter.
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@rosestar nope, it just means you either pissed em off or they think you're not gonna respond even if they care so much about you
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@rosestar sometimes people dont know better, cant blame them.... and you're welcome!
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@practicaladam I can see that you have been through a lot in life, I really appreciate your thoughts and thank you so much for sharing! Yes, life is tough and nothing is ever easy but we must stand up and fight!
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@practicaladam That was very nicely put, I am in a similar situation having not long ago lost very close loved ones. Trying to find an understanding shoulder is very difficult, especially when you're in that state of mind. At times just getting out and speaking to people is a challenge, but with time hopefully we'll heal.
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@rosestar I have found that understanding the things that are wrong really helps me to focus on what is right. Yes, life on a personal note has been extremely bad. But, I have found that there is so much outside influence that does not understand that which is wrong, or false. I have much patience now, stronger mentally, and the effect of that is the defences to my comfort zone are no longer in the way. Just the self defence to my physical existence and those I care about. Having a laugh, playing good positive music, a hobby and someone to share stories with, and even a hug is the best medicine I can suggest. But when we can always choose to have some alone time just so that we can enjoy our own thoughts for a little while. But too much of that time can and usually do spiral out of control.
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@practicaladam oh wow thats amazing to hear that you are doing well now! I agree with you, just stay positive and live life to the fullest!
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@rosestar learning new things and experiences is my greatest practice. Being a practically logically minded bloke, my hands can perform great things that which I never thought I could do. The depression really seems to subside. Suicide was all I thought about until I realised that there was influences around me with the whispers of a negative nature. So I set my sights on what is true and positive. I even got rid of my TV, which helped huge amounts. Peace be with you, may the natural cycle of life be your strength and may unconditional love fill your soul.
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@practicaladam here if you want someone to talk to, all the best and take care always
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@rosestar Thank you. A lonely path is a path that does take its toll on a person. But hey, I'm still breathing, the planet is still a beautiful place to live. It's just a pity there are many living on it that seeks nothing but power, greed, and so on. I stand for the development of humanity, positive energy, truth, and anything that restricts that. Thank you for chatting. Now I feel I should go cook my yum yums. Omelette.
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@practicaladam you are very welcome ! You are new here? Welcome to TWS! You are always welcome to message me or anyone else here
We hope you will feel happy and have a good time here! Go and cook your yum yum Omelette Enjoy and have a great day ! If you have any questions or anything don't hesitate to ask
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@rosestar yes, new here, new start, new me. WHOOHOO. New skills, knowledge, wisdom. It is awesome. A door closes, and another will open. We have the keys to all doors, it's knowing which key will fit. Take me as I am, or not at all. That's the way I see it. I'll help anyone out if I can. Walk the lady home, fix a garden fence, be a shoulder for those that struggle. Love to you all.
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@practicaladam
sending love on your way! Take care! Hope you enjoy it here
