Did I give this guy false hope?



  • So a few weeks ago, i was having drinks with a male friend after a movie. I've known this guy for almost 3 years now, and while were having drinks, he told me he liked me and said he could not tell me before because he was too nervous and that the drinks had helped him loosen up a bit. However, he also said at the time that he was not in a position to ask me out on a date, as he had some shit going on or whatever. I didn't feel the need to say anything to this and I just said Ok and pretended that nothing happened. I am not into this guy by the way. I mean he is a good friend, but I am absolutely not into him.
    So a couple days ago, this guy asks me to come for a movie. I agree and then afterwards we go for lunch and have drinks. Now I am under the impression that this guy won't ask me out as he said the last time. However, this guy now starts to like legit ask me out and tell me how much he likes me and everything. I got so nervous that I drank a lot and then proceeded to get sick. He got me a cab to home. and then again asked me out about it the next day. So i said No to the dating question.
    So my point is did i give this guy some kind of encouragement, like did my agreeing to see him again was a wrong signal of some sort. Should I have not gone out with him at all. And I know I should not have drunk. But guys please tell me if I have given like a massive wrong signal, or not. Also I've known and hung out with this guy several times before and that's why I thought it would be Ok. But guys I'd appreciate any perspective on this right now.
    Let me know what you guys think.


  • Chocolate lovers ;) Global Veteran One Woman Army GSP Patrol - The Proofreaders

    @sara233 Hey Sara. I think that what you needed to do was to be clear and not afraid to say no, or make clear what you actually wanted from him - which was friendship only. I don't really think it's about the signals, you were friends and friends are meant to hang out, right? It's just that you have to be straight forward and not afraid to voice what you think.. instead of trying to get away from the situation, you could have just said no.. simple. Otherwise what was he meant to think?



  • @shaun-durwin Thanks so much. It makes me feel marginally better. I have in very clear terms told him now that I don't want to date him and have also asked him to give me some space. I think that makes things pretty clear. I hope.



  • @sara233 When you're ovulating you're always giving out signals, wrong or not, they affect men, all men (unless you're gay, then I don't know). Firstly, there's always something sexual if you're friends with the opposite sex (unless you're gay), you might think there isn't, but your body knows, for three (3) years you were testing him. He failed all your tests, and therefore you never had feelings for him. For him it was different, to him it was like you're giving him a rope that if he was just that bit taller he could reach. So he kept lurking around you, until a few weeks ago, when he thought he caught it but failed.

    What you have to do, is to end it, he failed and unless he suddenly becomes super attractive to you don't talk to him.



  • @green-archer Thanks for your opinion. But the thing is I have never found him attractive. I was never testing him because I was never interested in him that way. The only reason I was friends with him or even hung out with him was because the place where i work has fewer female co-workers. I never get too friendly with guys if I have the option of having a female friend. I am straight btw... and this guy seemed like a safe bet because ususally the guys who are like creepy, start hitting on you early on. Since i've known him for almost 3 years and he never said anything I thought things were platonic from his side too. But i'll b careful in the future as to how i behave around guys. I know actions can be misinterpreted.



  • @scottyboi could you please answer my question first


  • The BatSheep

    @sara233 I don't think that you gave out the worng signals, but if the guy was/is into you then it's kind of understandable that he may of taken you going out with him the wrong way. You see, us guys are very easily lead, by the simplest of things.... so although you never gave out the wrong signs, it does sound as if he took the going out for a drink as a "yea I'm up for it"
    I know, I know ..... sad species, the males lol



  • @alizajalebiiiiii I think you're right. I'm going to keep that in mind in the future. Thanks so much.



  • @sara233 follow me back



  • @sara233 no you didn’t






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