Happiness is a warm gun

[Peter1088]

I need some help. I don't know what to do with my life. I have so many mental issues that I don't even know what's wrong with me. I imagine my own death so much that it just seems like a memory. It's so nasty that I have to get a medical withdrawal from this semester to do counseling. I have trouble falling asleep at night. I have reckless thoughts like running away or starving myself. I don't know how to fix my life.
I want to study English and become an accomplished author one day. I just feel like I'm the only person who cares about it. I feel like I can't ever be good enough to do that. I feel so worthless.