this is a ...disturbing topic, care to shed some background? any time of violence or abuse is not tolerated here or in person
How do I remove evil from my soul
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@coner-forev Ah, but not even light can escape a black hole! You must free yourself from all expectations, even from the joy of helping.
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@htz I just feel so empty like I could go mad but I always control but I should be better inside then I am
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@coner-forev Not all people kind. I am fine with the fact that I think I'm evil. I'm not doing anythin wrong/criminal etc. I'm just regular folk, yet being with anger and evil gave me nice push to move out from my situation in the past. Yet it's not going anywhere after this, so it has its own pros and cons.
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@htz yea I guess I never really looked at it that way but I do wish the empty ness would give me a little break
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@coner-forev Emptiness is a little different from being evil. If you understand this than just dont give up and keep trying. Also, I suggest check your hormon lvls - in many cases it's the cause - and if you feel on the edge - there might be already solution. If you have somewhat good health insurance - it won't be costy at all. It costed me 20 dollars for 4 months of medication (no side effects at all)- it's that cheap sometimes. But then it stopped working because my body resists and now it's same as before yet already trying other groups of medication.
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@i-am-male that is hard because I enjoy the feeling of helping
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@coner-forev Then you will have to accept that all light comes with darkness, a shadow cannot exist without the light, and vice versa.
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If I just could remove emptiness from my life and keep evil - I would be feeling good to myself. And as you said you enjoy helping. I do too, yet every betrayal, every bad thing that people've done to me - I dislike it a little too much. So I probably never will be truly kind in helping.
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@i-am-male yea I guess that is just my life .. thanks
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@htz I just look the other way and try helping someone else .. I have done lots of bad and I have been for a long time teaching myself a better way but it is an empty life
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@Coner-Forev don't give up, if you feel this way more than two weeks - visit a doctor - as I said - it might be hormons problem or signs of depression. I'm fighting this shit for last 4 years with really low rate of success. I would say only dark thoughts keep me alive - like vengeance , dreaming about bloody comeback, want to make people pay for their deeds. It's always like that - there is no justice - but it's different story.
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@coner-forev maybe you just need more time. Not enough context, you know, hard to judge the situation.
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@i-am-male yea but guidance is always needed
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@htz I have always been odd for a long time I was unfeeling but I have taught myself many things but I ask random people that way I can learn and maybe teach all at the same time
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@Coner-Forev I am software engineer - literally the same but for money :)
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@htz I only do it to better myself and help others
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@i-am-male thanks and u as well
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@Coner-Forev that's it. Here you go - evil removed, you are kind one, yet emptiness is left. Case closed.