Should i stay just because of the baby?

  • Married for 3 yrs. baby just turned 8 months. My husband and i barely know each other anymore. I feel like hes a total stranger now. He would give All attention to out kid which i love but less to me. We had sex just once. No kissing not even flirting. I dod everything for him preping his food laundry etc but i am tired felt like its never reciprocated or even appreciated. Sleep crying almost every night. I dont know if im going through post partum or this is surreal 😞

  • the key to a sucessful marraige is to him..tell him all that u are feeling...
    postpartum depression can last for 1 to 3 years ,if u feel that is the case..get treatment..
    donot go for divorce in a must be all ur postpartum estrogen and progesterone...give it some will calm down..
    may be he always has been like this and u r noticing it now because u r very emotional due to hormones and the baby crying all the time....or may be he thinks that he needs to give u more time u know because u r not ready more thing that i have noticed is that most men dont know what to do when their wife is they think that not doing or saying anything would make it go away without realising that it is only going to get worse..

    it isnt just his job to initiate flirting and sex..u can do it too u kno..walk around in the most skimpiest clothes possible in ur home...and dont be insecure about how u doesnt matter...if u r confident then thats what he will see..and if u r insecure about ur body then thats what he will be confident...

    u can tell him that u r tired u dont want to laundry..lets take turns..u do this week ill do next week...or lets eat from out...u have to be open..and let him know what you want and what is that u need...keeping everything to urself and crying wont help....

    i hope this will help...please donot get a divorce right now...most importantly tell him that u wanna talk and cry and shout and u want him to sit there and listen to it...and calm you down..tell him that u r losing it..and u need someone...

  • Thank you so much. I know i should be or we should be talking.. but we are both staying away from that. Just silence at home most of the time just talking when necessary. I feel like everyday i start to love him
    Lea and if we continue like this, i dont think i could stand living with him in the same roof. Thank you. Ill try my best to talk to him if it doesnt help go to marriage counseling and when all else fails i guess its time to move forward

  • I think you should consult with your husband about how you are feeling. Maybe he got too caught up with the kid. If he stays the same, then get a counsellor, then a lawyer if its too much for you.

  • @babymomma Seek counseling first; an independent person is best. After that, talk with your mom if she is alive, well and had at least an OK marriage - get her advice.
    Try to communicate how you feel with your husband, openly but without condemning him. If nothing works and if you are unhappy, it'll rub off on the kid. Might leave the child damaged; so if you gotta quit the marriage, do it.

  • Giving more attention to the newborn is pretty common.
    What is more common is spouses feeling left out and attention deprived.
    This is a natural curve, things will get better with time.
    However if conditions don't improve in a few months try giving him The Talk.
    Take marriage counseling if necessary. Seek professional help before making a rash decision that will not only affect you as well as the baby.
    Staying just because of the baby will be wrong.
    But leaving just because of the baby will be worse.

    P.S: When you have a second baby the first one will feel bad and it will be a job for both of you to tell the first one "Parents love both of them alike."

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