What do you catch yourself thinking about constantly?



  • I'm catch my mind drifting off regularly and have to bring myself back to reality. It's almost seems like hallucinations because they can be so vivid even with my eyes open. I'll have theories about life and science or imagine future scenarios. It has to be a survival instinct.



  • @steelfirehawk that sounds terrible. I hope you face your fears and give yourself peace.



  • @steelfirehawk don't be sorry. I'm sorry. I knew you were not looking for debate I just hoped I could reason with you and help you have another perspective.


  • Soul Searchers

    My thoughts are mostly not my own ever since I exposed the demons for their tinkering around. Now not only do they concoct clever accusations to try, and use my fear of God to keep me discomforted, but they flat out run me down, and put nasty images in my head. I can't even count how many times I've been forced to watch myself die, or terrible things happening to me at this point. Other than that I want to stay in touch with God mostly, and the more real the war becomes, and the more sorry I am the more desperate for him I become


  • Soul Searchers

    well I'm happy to fear God, but the problem is the enemy has found a clever way to use it to glorify himself when he gets me down on myself. He's a terrible blasphemer, and I'm forced to hear it. It's always trying to possess me, but I don't think it can. Still it is annoying, and I have writhing epileptic symptoms as well (reading your other post). I'm not scared of the enemy, because he has been doing this kind of thing since as far back as I can remember, and it only increases in intensity as the world is falling to pieces. All I can do is try to testify, and hope some might regard the end could very well be nearer than we would like to think.



  • @steelfirehawk everyone dies. If god is just he will judge you by your actions and if god is not just why should you worship him. Did you grow up in a religious house? What is your religion?


  • Soul Searchers

    I don't really care about religion, dogma's, denominations, or principalities that people create for their own agenda's. I am just a human soul witnessing strange things in this temple of pain. I've fought the devil enough times to know it's not a joke. Personal experience is what makes me a believer in Christ. The first time I ever woke up in a dream the enemy was transformed into my sister. I didn't know it till I said to her "hey, you're not supposed to be here! This is a dream!" She proceeded to turn into a demonic entity, and I said "I know what you are!" I went to utter the name of Jesus, but a strange hypnotic type of weight came over my will power, and it came out like Jeeeuuus jeee jee uu, and by the time I had almost summoned the will to utter his name everything went black. I've had many experiences like this. Even a few times the devil possessed, and used family members to mock me. One time Jesus put my dad on the ground, and he proceeded to curse me like a hissing snake reading my thoughts I doubt a human can do, but he was responding to every rebuke I said against him in my mind



  • @steelfirehawk this could be schizophrenia steel. Our mind is very powerful.



  • @steelfirehawk happy to fear god... but didn't god love people? Why would he create just to judge and punish his children?


  • Soul Searchers

    I consider it a war that I must fight alone in Christ as there are no witnesses aside from him. Although one should never fear testifying what they witness I am well aware of the possibility of being cornered, abandoned, or even thrust into the system where no one has to deal with the strangeness that is my experience. There is always a chance someone might wake up, and turn to Christ, but I don't expect to be a useful tool of the Lord. Mostly just alone, and doubted, and persecuted, and accused. I can handle it. Maybe I was named Steel for a reason even though many would consider me weak when regarding carnal means, or stability of the mind etc.


  • Soul Searchers

    @leelah fearing God gives me motivation to obey his righteousness, and I love to submit myself to him in fear. I love to say how mighty he is, and respect, and fear him. It's like a romantic thing of sorts



  • @steelfirehawk if there is an all mighty god than he is evil. Puts you on earth just to test you and decide your eternal fate in one short lifetime. God is all knowing and all powerful but forces you to love him or pay.


  • Soul Searchers

    Well you don't seem to love him, and so you have a freedom to choose. Typically what separates us from fully receiving the holy spirit through Christ is the inability to submit to the idea that because none of us could rise above the passions of the flesh such as sex, desire, vanity, glory, and even an empire in selfish conquest that he chose to send his only son to do what we could not. Now we are merely required to truly recognize the magnitude of what has been done on our behalf even though we are so vain, and selfish we don't deserve it truly his love is unconditional. Now concerning evil there was a time it is written the Lord told Moses as the people were worshiping an idol in the absence of Moses the Lord said he was tempted to bring about a terrible evil if he would not go down, and stop them from this. It is written he is called jealous, and I think seeing the world for myself and knowing how long suffering patient he is with us he has every right to be upset. He knows pain on a global scale. We only know it personally, and many of us neglect those who are perishing, or in need for our own agendas and iniquity. You are free to believe as you choose. I'm just trying to make sense Leelah



  • @steelfirehawk but god created sexual desire. So not only does he make his existence questionable with no credible evidence but he also created the desires he expects you to avoid or he will punish you.


  • Soul Searchers

    The Lord suggested against Marriage saying it is too worldly, but for those who cannot contain their passions to be married, and sanctified. It's not his fault so many people have no discretion. You see the world today people walk around practically naked, and do not regard the fires of coveting. Look sis you are free to not love God. I don't want to upset anyone, or debate. I was only trying to make sense enough you might consider his love. I wish I could be a better servant. I am sorry for that. Peace be with you


  • Soul Searchers

    same its np






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