T-R-U-S-T I-S-S-U-E-S

[TheGoldenMole]

I'm not sure what bump in the road I drove over that resulted trust issues, but I gots them! The older I get, the more problematic my trust issues become. I've been trying my best to over come them but it seems like the more I try to trust someone the less trust worthy they start to seem. So... do you have trust issues? How does one learn to trust people? When should we trust and when shouldn't we?

[Brisbane Paladin]

@TheGoldenMole at what point did you start developing the trust issues?
Is it trust issues with family, friends, partners or all of the above?
To try and address the issue, have you found out how long ago it started to develop? What triggered it, how severe is it?

I won't lie, admittedly I too also have my trust issues. I think in all reality when it comes to overcoming the issue in mention, it takes time. Alot of time. You also need to talk to those who are close to you, to express the issue because they'd be able to understand and offer you their coping mechanisms.

[Lurker]

@TheGoldenMole

I wonder if having trust issues, or trusting too easily/blindly on ppl u develop feelings for is worst.
Trust issues can hold you back but at least keeps you save, the latter can pretty much ruin you!

What do you think it's worst? Regarding the topic I have no clue, never had trust issues, I always trust ppl until they prove me they are not to trust, but usually when feelings are involved I get rather blind!

[[[global:former-user]]]

You don't trust them for a variety of reasons based on your experiences, i assume?
If so, then you have every reason to distrust strangers you come across.
There are many dangerous humans out there.
Many, who are out there only to hunt for people who trust them.

[TheGoldenMole]

@Brisbane-Paladin said in T-R-U-S-T I-S-S-U-E-S:

@TheGoldenMole at what point did you start developing the trust issues?

I don't actually know. I just know there was a time I didn't have them and somewhere along the line I got them bad

Is it trust issues with family, friends, partners or all of the above?

Not really family, some friends, and always partners

To try and address the issue, have you found out how long ago it started to develop? What triggered it, how severe is it?

I don't know when or why it happened, but I just always assume people are around me for the wrong reasons.

I won't lie, admittedly I too also have my trust issues. I think in all reality when it comes to overcoming the issue in mention, it takes time. Alot of time. You also need to talk to those who are close to you, to express the issue because they'd be able to understand and offer you their coping mechanisms.

Aside from partners, I've never fully explained to people how I feel about them and my lack of trust I have towards them. Maybe I will try that, thank you

[TheGoldenMole]

@Lurker I think they're equally as bad. That's like asking if a French bulldog or English bulldog is cute. THEY'RE BOTH CUTE LITTLE BUTTONS THE WORLD CANT CHOOSE. So yeah same said with the trusting problems, whether you trust too easily or too hard, they both stink and I wouldn't want to have either. They'll both make your life a mess

[TheGoldenMole]

@Karina-Kara I actually don't know. I can't remember an instance where I trusted someone and they betrayed me in a harsh way. So I don't know what triggered it and why I don't trust people

[cjko]

Haha this is closely related to my experiences before why I have HIGH WALLS now. I was kinda skeptical person when it comes to giving trust, that's why I don't make friends that much to people I'm not connected with. I don't even fully trust someone special in my life; when I do , they started to break it until trusting them again will be really hard. I don't understand why people doing great things for you at first just to gain your trust, will eventually turn into someone who will break it. I don't get them why they wanted to break that walls of yours for protection and go over it, just to let them in in your life then suddenly ruin everything you invested for yourself and for them.

[Indrid Cold]

In my opinion (as a gobshyne) trust issues are perfectly normal in this current age. Maybe it's naff to complain about overpopulation and dense living conditions, but there's certainly a lot of people, and we tend to focus on the serving the lowest common denominator rather than loyalty to our mates. We don't see what's idiosyncratic, therefore it's easily to wonk it all away.

Viz-a-viz trust issues in a romance situation? It's like that quote in Starship Troopers. The Five Star General looks at this random guy and says, "You're my new Sergeant until you get killed or someone better comes along". Too bleak?

[[[global:former-user]]]

@TheGoldenMole You don't have to trust anyone imo. Just be nice and never say anything that may be used against you. If you can make them trust you they will share secrets. Then it is safer to share your's as well if you really can't hold back.

[BabyArtist]

@TheGoldenMole I think that being cautious about someone and not trusting them immediately, is okay. I have trust issues too, but I think that if this person is important to you then try to open up to them and going a little more out of your comfort zone and tell them a little about some of the things that happened to you. It doesn’t need to be all the bad things it can be good thins too! Tell them small things and test them a little. Don’t do it immediately though, be sure you know this person well and know if they’re the type to talk about other people’s secrets or not. It can be hard to tell people what happened to you. If you overcame something and you tell them about the bad part then be sure to tell them that you did overcome it. Just be cautious with who you share your past or what happens in your life.
Having trust issues has a good and bad side. The good side is that you won’t get hurt that easily. The bad side is that you might hurt other people’s feelings. So just think about that.
Just be cautious and try opening up to the person you know is there for you always in good and bad times. When you can rely on someone then you know you can most likely trust them.

[TheGoldenMole]

@Kana What about when it comes to partners? It is difficult being in a romantic relationship with someone you can't trust. Even if they have given you no reason to no trust them. Do you just stay in a trustless relationship and constantly worry if they are doing things behind your back? or just never get into any relationship at all? There has to be more than just those two options right?

[[[global:former-user]]]

@TheGoldenMole I think that having paranoid thoughts about someone cheating on you when they have given you no reason to doubt them is different from having trust issues. Just choose the person who seems to be trustworthy and see where it goes. Talking out your doubts always helps.