@Johannes-Julians Well I'm a Gemini so that helps there's two of me I never truly alone. I don't have any friends where I live. I'm an excellent musicians but I can't find anybody to make music with. can't pay people to come drink beer and eat food when you barbecue. I never lived in a place so full of hatred. I dearly miss my wife who died. So there is me myself and I. People do not leave me alone because of my knowledge. I'm an ASE certified master automotive technician. I fix their cars. I fix their houses their four-wheelers for lawn mowers motorcycles all their toys boats excetera so they bother me 24/7 365. I long for the peace and solitude of being alone. But I dearly miss the intimacy of sharing it with someone. I feel that part of my heart shriveling up and dying. I pray it does not take other pieces with it