Mental health, dreams and fantasies. Two personalities boyish and feminine

[findingmyself]

Hi there
Im trying to understand myself so if anyone can relate or has relevant answers to what I’m experiencing or any additional questions please help and reach out.
Since over 10 years I’ve been having fantasies and making “scenarios” about different characters losing mental stability, being vulnerable, needing professional help and actually being taken care of. Basically classic scenes from movies when a main character is falling into some mental illness or disorder, definitely needing professional help so someone close to them actually takes steps to help them.
I do create scenarios like that it’s been for years now and i dont know why i am doing it. But i feel drawn into this topic. It’s not a turn on. It’s not that i need such help although i do have anxiety disorder.
Why do i create those stories in my mind? Once upon a time i even was writing those down in a notebook but stopped coz it seemed weird.

There are two types of those “fantasies”/ stories. One type is when im a narrator and the character of a story is a he or she but in 99% cases he. The other type is that it is me needing help, becoming lost and unstable and eventually theres some kind of intervention. Also mostly a 30ish yo he as a character while while im a female in her middle 20s. Ive had these kind of fantasies or been making up stories since i was a teenager.

Never talked to any of my therapists about it because never knew how to even describe it all and this is my first ever attempt although I’ve asked myself why I’m doing this alot. It seems complicated and im trying to understand what do i need or am missing in my life/ myself that i do it. Trying to understand why i even do it and why it’s so compelling that it’s been with me for so long.
The only thing I ever thought of is that those characters would always end up being cared for and getting needed due to circumstances attention.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything similar to this?

If yall watched sex education on Netflix theres that girl “fantasizing” ALOT about aliens. Like she’s obsessed. I actually feel the same just different topic.

Additionally i always liked boyish clothes as a teen and mostly other females never understood it obviously. When 8 yrs ago found my husband I learned kore about myself and discovered very feminine part of myself. Like for this man i wanted be a “real” woman. And that did feel interesting coz since then I definitely had and have both styles. Boyish but also elegant and super feminine. Mind blown personality split. Not sure who i am. And on the top of it all those fantasies.

[findingmyself]

Forgot to add i very often dream that im back at school or on school trips or any kind of vacation where I literally need to be supervised by some professional in case something triggers me and i act out crazy. Very often ends up with me running away from medical stuff, ending up making it even worse for myself, sometimes have to be restrained or given extra meds. I rly dont get it why i would have dream like that and i swear 5 on 7 days a week….

[XR7_]

@findingmyself As you mentioned about Your "Therapist", I personally believe you should tell them that, there is no shame & it won't sound weird to them, just have some courage and tell them that(I'm sure they are more experienced/Expert than people here) Hope they help you, I. Hope you gets well soon, stay healthy.

:))

[findingmyself]

It just sounds like wth why would someone fantasize about something this ummm either tragic or just lets say “undesirable”. I can understand someone fantasizing about lets say something romantic or sexy or abt pursuing their dreams etc but like another user on this website addressed they ream about wanting to be raped. What i mean is just like they said why would you have fantasies about something “negative” or perceived by most as unwanted.

[XR7_]

@findingmyself Somehow I believe we all fantasize. Some fantasize about having a good job or progress in life (Usually) But somehow I'm interested to know about things you fantasize if you want, also I'm not a professional , nor I can suggest you anything regarding to that, I would still suggest you to talk with "Therapist" who's more Experienced & Qualified enough to help you.

[Cold Sun]

I've got Savoury sauce

You kidding me?? Come on works best for hypothalamic dysfunction eh....
Pliz we ignore not myself rn

[findingmyself]

Yeah so smart

[Cold Sun]

The Urechis unicinctus thingy??😏