I admit I've been a pain in the ass but since Oct-6-2016 i haven't seen you

[sunnynotadummy]

I can't gather up enough words sidra i cant come up with that perfect sentence that might shed light on my ways.... I will say that i originally got lonely as hell in those 3yrs i didn't hear from you at all first 2 but i always spoke of you sidra i will be 100000% i didn't get better in that time i got so much more worse sidra i completely broke apart when the whole world said why are you waiting i said i know she is mad sidra i can sit and apologize for days but you know i even told you i spoke to girls but none ever ever take the spot you do... I ended up getting on depression meds i was down to 176lbs me who now weighs 220lbs sidra
I locked myself in after you left and when i came to pakistan i was coming off the medications and i don't remember anything to be honest i remember waking up in dallas and thats the day i went and got help because if i didnt i was going to die.... Look i will be happy just knowing that you become this powerful beautiful moti muj that i always knew you would but just had to deal with a fucker like me hey look allah listened to my dua remember when i saw the kabba my first dua was always keep her happy and look you are writing books and inspiring young woman all over the world allah ki qasam se i am so proud of you just promise you will fotget me and just move on i will not fight the case just promise you won't yell at manha and i will quietly disappear i was already doing that i was in Houston and i know you are aware because had to meet me but didn't...

Hey i am not supposed to be a part of this story i have made a fool out of myself in front of everyone already its my own fault. So the next chapters of your life you deserve peace happiness and not someone as low as me o genuinely wanna see you happy even if that may be in someone else's arms because i have blown my chances I'm laughing because i am sort of talking to you hey sidra im sorry for hurting you and i have to do it again forgive me but this was the first time i got off drugs and rehab started working out and was happy and i thought maybe we'd have a chance then i got the letter and i almost ended it that night im happy i didn't because i can say bye and sorry
I don't think you will ever know how much hate i have towrds myself for everything look please be happy live go explore and see the beauty in the world please sorry you won't ever be bothered by me i never loved any of the chicks i dedicated my everything to you from sleeping to walking up i cant do this anymore sidra i cant live like this i am going insane living like this i have to look at our room like it was when you left and clothes same way..
Take care of my mano jaan
And please forgive me for everything and what i have to do its the only way tell your family salam may allah be pleased with something i do

[sunnynotadummy]

I hope you get my msg sidra

You will always be the most sexiest and most beautiful woman for me i sold all my motorcycles and truck and dropped it all running for you... I wish things would've happened different

I always said you are a angel a farishta in my eyes i don't see any flaws in you so i know a shitty fuck like me does not deserve you... I love you ok smile regardless of whatever happens to me its not your fault

Ok please let my parents talk to manha occasionally and i am really fucking proud of you sidra you are so driven you will save girls from ass holes like me
I wish i would have saved some of my dignity and self worth but at least now i know there is alot of people to care for you

Official good bye
I cannot live everyday searching you up and worried about you and lost thinking or trying to forget because its impossible