Posts made by Soulsreacher

My bf betrayed my trust... so profoundly... I love him, he was so thorn to see the pain and disappointment in my eyes... he hated himslef so much... But the truth is it hit me hard... I'm so broken inside... I told him I'm ok... but I'm not. I thought we had a special, deep bound... I was so sure...I was so thankful and proud to have him...

I just found out after a year that my bf writes to E.scort and s.ex workers for the adrenaline rush of doing something ilecit. I always had relationships that failed me, I had a gambling addict, I have been betrayed on so many levels in my life...He was different though. He says it's the same reason why he drives way too fast with his motorbike at times, or why he goes to the shooting range. He is in the military but he does nothing at all all day long. He's frustrated. I got that part. And I'm so sorry. But my istinct's always right and I asked him so many times if he was talking to somebody else. I always believed him, I trusted him so much. I'd defend him always. But he lied...he lied bc he felt worthless and ashamed. Bc he had everything. I'm so open mentally and sexually and therefore it's even more difficult to accept. I don't blame him for his actions, for the need for more stimuli, even if extreme. I can understand. I blame him for the lies.