Best posts made by rebelw.acause

At first when I saw this title, I thought, "Whatever, someone's probably just trying to get attention." But after I've read some of @boots22 's posts, I kind of figured that this might be important. I read this a while ago, but I completely broke down and cried. That's kind of crazy, because I don't really cry (I've learned how to and how not to). I've known so much too early, and in middle school I know a lot of things even college-aged people don't know. It hurts and some days, all I want to do is kill myself. I have a battlefield of scars. Scars, bruises, scabs, and open bleeding cuts from my own doing. I just want boots and everyone else who has helped me make it this far to know that I love them (don't take that weirdly) and I thank them with the cut and bleeding heart that I have. Thanks guys, keep it up. Thank you soooooooooo much again. And now I should stop typing because my laptop is going to shortcircuit from the tears I'm crying right now.

Depression and Suicide; I fight them with Twenty One Pilots, a knife, or just staring at a black wall

Beagles

I mean, this isn't just cool and morally right or anything. This. is. what. I've. Been. Looking. For. I mean, this is amazing. No one just stands up like this anymore. You don't just see this...like really. So thank you.

Because, like love, it hurts because "it's real".

ok: quarantine was the best fucking thing to happen to me. ever. it was the spring, so it wasn't too hot, not too cold. i would get all my school done in at most 3-4 hours, get a shower early, and have all this time to work on improving my makeup, fashion sense, biking, working out at least 1 1/2 hours a day, reading, all of it. my self-confidence was inSANELY high, i never got lonely, and my emotions were better than normal (PMSing and periods aside). i was so happy, and i viewed being single a freedom, not being lonely.

skip to now: i'm in school 5 days a week. i have to wear a mask, which honestly isn't a problem except when i need to run and breathe heavily or my nose is running. but i have face problems now - dryness, acne, etc. i've tried everything. i have gym 5 days a week for the next month or two, so i wear sweatpants (rather than the uniform) because we can't get changed. but sweatpants make me insecure. i'm insanely insecure now about my body and personality and looks in general. i'm depressed, worried, anxious, and lonely. how TF did this happen?

anyway :) have a nice day/night

hey! i understand what you're going thru...i met this amazing guy a few years ago, but we broke up, and he left. i miss him a lot...i saw him the other day and will see him again on tuesday. but something to keep in mind is that our memories are always blurred, tinted by the emotions we feel and felt. i tend to overromanticise the past...i'm not sure if that's something u can relate to, but that happens a lot when looking back on previous relationships. but if you know in your heart that you love her and she loved you and you were meant to be, i'd say reach out to her! go for it! but if, deep down inside of you, you know it's not meant to be, then cherish those memories. hold on to them, remembering them in peace, not in bitterness or guilt. be thankful that you had those times, but learn to embrace the fact that you will never be able to make new times with her. and then let it go. stop wishing to go back, stop hoping for her to reach out. learn to love "now", because right now is such a beautiful time.

omg that is amazing

I have a friend. And we'll just name him Isaiah. He is a pretty good friend. And that's because of depression. He wants to kill himself. And so do I. But I swear to y'all, to the girl on the streets, to the boy with the knife, to y'all on the edge of that 7 story building, ready to jump, that it's okay. I understand you. I understand your suicide. I understand why you hold that knife, I know why you are on that building. but I also understand why it took you so long to grab the knife. And i understand why you hesitate before jumping. I am there for you and I think that all suicidal and depressed people should stay alive and if for no other reason, stay alive for me, stay alive for the other people. there's always someone who needs you. I know a lot of people who are mad at me right now because they think I'm hypocritical because I want to kill myself and I cut alot and I am so fricking suicidal. But I swear, I'd rather other people stay alive. Because it's so hard to tell myself what I tell you. I am here for you. Other people are there for you ( I swear it on everything). Twenty One Pilots is here. Don't Die. It'll Be Okay.

Hey, (havent been on for forever so just saw all of my notifications :grin: ) Thanks for posting this bc (some of) us girls are done with this shit. Don't get me wrong, girls, I'm not calling u who aren't sick of it w****s or anything, but JUST TO LET U KNOW GUYS u touch me, I will bite your damn hand off, or die trying. (I'm kinda in a bad mood just 2 let u know :) ). So again, thx for being like that one guy who actually appreciates girls for who they are, not what they have. Keep bein' urself :) :)

What is that one actor or actress that you absolutely cannot get over and you completely love?

Honestly, the hard way, bc it teaches me about hard work, but as far as someone I love or care about, I'd love to go the easy way, but in the end i know it would hurt them more. So i always go the hard way, until i feel like i'll break unless i go easy

The saddest thing on earth is when Captain Gally got killed in The Maze Runner :(

I'm so confused rn so basically: I used to like this guy but then I gave up on him because he never paid attention to me lol. Then I liked this dude and we were talking for a while and it just didn't work out. THEN i liked the first guy's best friend but he got a gf soooo...now, i'm not even sure who i like. Is this normal? Shittttt. Also the dude that I was talking to is staring at me again. I don't know what I'm supposed to fookin do. Help? Advice?

So this thought has occured to me many times, but the most recent occurrence has been rather in the face and bold-printed. I have realized that some people don't care about us. And when I say "us", I mean me and all the depressed and suicidal people out there. Maybe they "don't care" because they just want us to be happy with their lives or they're jealous or maybe they're even going through the same things as us. But whatever it is, they're more voices telling us that we're worth absolutely nothing. But we are worth something. And just to satisfy you and assure you that what I'm saying is real, I'll quote what someone said to me. (BTW, it is a text) "Y would u want 2 kill urself u hav so much 2 live 4. so giv up ur frigging act. its nothing and dont take that personal im just sayin:face_without_mouth: " And I'm just thinking "Frick them. double frick them" because seriously? They don't care. Don't listen to 'em. When they're telling you you're wrong and that you're double minded, don't listen. You're worth more than the world.

I've got this strange thing with me...I think I'm asexual, I think I'm strange, I think I can be obsessive, I think I'm unusual, I think I'm a bad person, I think this and I think that, but on the other hand, I think I'm a hetero bitch, I think I'm normal, I think I can be indifferent, I think I'm average, I think I'm a good person, and I think this and that. But in reality, I just don't know. Is anyone else there? Where they just don't know who they are, where they're looking and trying, but when you try to figure things out, it just makes it more complicated?
If anybody out there sees this, please, please say something. Coz i hate drama and overexaggeration, but i'm so close to the edge. i've been there for a few months, and it would be so easy to let go right now. To make it clearer, there have been so many times where I could kill myself, it's become scary. i keep thinking if this person would notice me or i could meet this person, i'd be fine, but i know i wouldn't. i'm just looking for something, for anything. please drop a comment or a like or a dislike, hell, anything, if anyone knows that feeling.

@sumof1 I'd like to lay you off rn, but I'm not sure exactly which move would be best...so lemme just tell you something, buddy. I'm glad you said that to me bc if you said it to one of my frens, I think I'd kill you and to be honest I'd rather not because that would get on my record, you crap nugget

1. be happy again
2. see europe/the uk
3. meet/thank someone in person who has helped me through life without knowing it
4. get a tattoo...or several
5. i'm leaving it open

HEYYYYYYYYY!!! WELCOME BACK!!!

Am I the only one who doesn't want to hear what people say because I know they're gonna say how thankful or something that i am who i am BUT "I, I'll never be, be what you see inside
You say I'm not alone, but I am petrified
You say that you are close, is close the closest star?
You just feel twice as far, you just feel twice as far" and then "I'm so afraid
Of what you have to say
'Cause I am quiet now
And silence gives you space" and now I'm scared again.

I feel like I'm faking everyone out.