How do you feel about your mother in law if you have this experience

[Soraya 0]

First of all, my English is not very good, so please pardon me. I have a very kind mother-in-law; she doesn't really argue with me a lot. For the past two months, my husband and I have been facing difficulties, so we started living in her house. Every time my husband and I have an argument, even if it's just a minor disagreement, she always says, "Stop fighting," while we are still trying to explain our misunderstandings to each other (without even yelling). It's only the second time we've argued about something important, and we need to discuss it right away. Usually, in our own house, having an argument is normal, and we can resolve things afterward. I feel that I cannot be myself in her house and remain silent when I believe my husband disrespects me.

I'm trying my best to get back on my feet and find a job, but my working permit in a new country will be out in January 2024, so I still have three months to go to apply a job.

But there's also something else that I find somewhat annoying (or tell me if I'm being oversensitive).

She and I are friends on social media, and she used to like my posts, especially when I posted about family and my job. My husband and her ex are still best friends, and my mother-in-law also stays in contact with her, even though His ex already married and has children.

However, one day in 2017 we had holiday, we visited a city where my husband's ex is living. Together with my mother in law, we had a picnic together, all of us, and we even stayed at her house for dinner. We had breakfast with her without communicating with me beforehand; I just went along with them without even knowing where we were going. I was so upset about this, because i lost informations, and i canceled my itinerary. She adored her a lot, and she even complimented her cooking, etc.

after those meetings and seeing her own son occasionally raise his voice at me, she started to distance herself from me on social media. Recently, I noticed that she actively likes my husband's ex's pictures related to her job, etc but not mine.

I don't know if I'm feeling jealous sometimes, but I thought that I might be overly sensitive about this. What do you think? Am I the one overreacting, or is it normal to have these uncomfortable feelings?

[Hami 0]

You are definitely not overreacting. What i have experienced is that you only find out the true intentions of people when you start living with them. One possible solution for you and your husband during discussions is to just go to your room close the door and have the discussion in private. or go out for a drive and discuss it with him there.

Having it in front of your Mother in Law will not give you any benefit.

Liking the ex is definitely strange. Your mother in law is facing past bias. Since she's living with you, all your limitations are being amplified to her and all that ex girls good qualities are also being amplified.

I think for your sake the best case scenario is to move out with your husband or find a job,

we can talk more so hit me up. But do remember, it is your life first and foremost so you have to think about yourself as well