@Rebel_Cute That's a cry for help. I truly hope you seek medical help as you clearly require it. You should stop cutting yourself. I know easier said than done. But try and find yourself some help before it gets out of hand. I could be wrong but I doubt someone made you carve a A on your arem as there is old cut marks underneath the A. This is very sad that you feel the need to cut yourself for what ever reason. Have a good one and be safe. All the best for you in your future
First and foremost you need to set some goals. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Lay out a plan to get there. What do you need to accomplish? What habits do you need to break and what new habits do you need to establish? Second, you need to discover your passion. What is it that you are good at and enjoy doing? Then incorporate that into your goals. How will you achieve your passion in terms of a career? Third, you need to determine what obstacles are stopping you from achieving those goals. Compartmentalize things. Turn them into baby steps and lay out a cohesive, consistant and detailed plan. Only YOU can change who you are, nobody else and not circumstances. Determine your 'why' and pursue it with a detailed blueprint.
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