Does my online friend like me (LGBT)?

[HiHelloBonjour]

So basically, we met on a LGBT Dating/Friendship App and her profile said, that she was interested in dating or friendship. We’ve been texting since 8 months now and we’ve been giving each other mixed signals. A few days ago, I asked her if she sees me as a friend or maybe more and the way I said it sounded like, as if I only wanted friendship. It was kind of dumb, since I sometimes flirted with her online. She basically told me, that didn’t have any clear intentions going into the app and sees us friends, but she is always open to the idea to maybe become more, since you never know what the future brings. Because of my pride, I told her that I only see her as a friend too and since we talked about that, she suddenly told me that she’s free next month so we can hang out for the first time. I thought that was a bit weird because we’ve been wanting to see each other for a very long time and now after we “had the talk”, she wants to see me? Also, she’s been texting me a lot more lately and is asking me a lot of questions again. I’m so confused. Was she lying or does she really just see me as a friend? Trust me, I’m not delusional and seriousy just don’t understand her.

[Matt_Aranha]

I suspect she was neither lying nor sees you only as a friend, but rather that she sees you as a potential.

You asked how she sees you. That's typically something people mostly do when they are interested in somebody themselves. But you don't strike me as very clear - even here you haven't mentioned once throughout your whole post how you feel or what you want, so I am presuming that you want more than friendship (if I'm wrong, my bad).

Her answer is a perfectly natural response. It tells you that she is open to more whilst at the same time protects her from looking too keen and embarrassing herself in case you aren't actually interested. You've then told her you only see her as a friend 🤦‍♂️ so she is perhaps as confused as you are?

There is a chance that she is messaging more and asking about meeting because she now feels that the elephant in the room is out of the way, that you now have defined your dynamic as friendship-only and so she feels safe and comfortable letting her guard down with you.

But I think - from her response to your question - that she is probably at least curious if not more about if there could be something between you. If she has realised that you asked because you are interested in her too, that will have given her the green light to make more of an effort to communicate/hang out and see what chemistry you have together 🤞

Reciprocate. Ask her questions back. Meet, go with the flow. Don't overthink, don't have expectations or make assumptions, and see what happens. It's genuinely the best way to handle these things, and one way or another you'll discover what you are supposed to be to one another.

[HiHelloBonjour]

@Matt_Aranha Thank you so much for your response!! It really helped me to see a bit more clear.
To answer your question yes, I'm definitely into her and felt pretty hurt when she said, that she only sees me as a friend. That's why I put my guard up and told her I felt the same way. Because I felt so dumb I told her that I actually like to flirt with a lot auf people and that's why I flirted with her too and I hope that she didn't mind. She was really cool about and said that she sometimes noticed me flirting with her over text but didn't think anything of it. All of those things made it seem as if she's really not into me but my intuition told me something different and your response also confirmed me that she might like me more.

[Matt_Aranha]

@PBSandwich Yeah, don't ever go telling somebody you're into that you like to flirt with lots of people. I get it, it's a defensive act and we all do things to protect ourselves, but it undermines and makes them question the signals that they're otherwise picking up from you. Almost everyone prefers that people be straight with them though. She would probably even really appreciate if you came clean with her and told her outright that you like her and why you didn't - being able to show vulnerability is an admirable trait and if she cares about you at all (on any level) she will at very least likely respect your honesty and bravery.

Whatever happens, I'm glad I was able to help offer some insight. Good luck to you both.