@Codyy If they don't like you for being yourself , be YOURSELF EVEN MORE :)
Spied on my fiancee feeling bad.
-
I was insecure and spied on my girlfriend (fiancee) and now I feel terrible, I don't know how to forgive myself.
It all started with her getting some texts late at night 11:45 and I woke up looked over seen some texts and some pictures, nothing crazy just a guy in cloths. Not a problem but I asked who it was and she told me an old friend. No problems I love my soon to be wife. We have been living together almost a year. Fast forward two days and she is oversleeping to go to her moms for a week (yes she was there) and I pick up her phone to see if the alarm was set. ( got into trouble before for waking her up too early)
-
So I see 2 more messages from this guy, she said was an old friend, "Goodnight beautiful" and "Good Morning Beautiful" she deleted the texts from the other night leaving everything to my imagination on seeing that.. I let her wake up normally and wait patiently to talk to her before she leaves for her moms house for the week. I ask about it... She says it's an ex and he talks to her like that, she assured me it was platonic and everything was fine, I asked her why she deletes stuff and she said she didn't want me to take things the wrong way. So that raised even more questions for me....
-
She left for her moms, everything was fine with me but it was eating me alive inside. So I connected her old phone up and began watching her Messenger app... After watching them talk for a while and seeing what looked to me like he was trying to come visit... Wanting to sleep on our couch. I blew up inside. I turned it back on after they had talked meaning to keep monitoring stuff but it was killing me,. He was on in the middle of the night and said "What are you doing on this late?" I responded she is probably still sleeping,,,, and this is name I was curious about this person so we chatted half the night. He assured me it was innocent flirting and nothing was planned...
-
Of course when she woke up she got all the messages and was super pissed off that I invaded her privacy.... Oh and also it wasn't an old friend or an ex it was an ex husband... So I don't know how to feel about that other than slightly deceived? I only found out it was her ex husband from the guy... She confirmed it when we got into a huge fight... Mostly with her yelling at me and me just crying. I was crushed by what I thought was the most secure relationship I have ever had... I never questioned anything she ever told me in over a year. Nothing! And I believe her that nothing is going on she is faithful and all her family confirms everything and all her friends. So I am happy again.
-
Although to add to all this I didn't eat or sleep for 3 days when I first read that stuff via the spying, she was at her moms house and I was miserable crushed beyond all belief, and now I just feel horrible for doing that. Guilty and sad.
-
Finally, some content on this dead zone! Making the relationship official with insecurities and a lie (not telling her) is quite a rough start. One should come clean about such things. You can keep it inside up until it eats you alive or confess to your fear. You might want to ask yourself why she would cheat on you or why you fear her leaving you. And if the morality of this is not enough of a motivator, do think that she might be hearing all of this from her ex.
-
Yeah was are talking it out, we have great communication and she is a wonderful woman whom I would die for without a thought, Just a comedy of errors I suspect that almost killed me,
-
After she calmed down, she cried a lot and apologized for not making it clear and being more open about it... I am not 100% to blame for everything but I do accept 99% of it.
-
I wont ever pick up her phone again, it's just not worth my sanity... I know everything I need to know when I look into her eyes.
-
I will also add when she fights, it's a bit bad (this was our very first fight ever in over a year of being together, we truly are wonderful together.) she tends to be very mean... When I fight I just say how I feel, and try to understand. Although she is the more aggressive of the two of us. I am a pacifist I don't like confrontation. I didn't even yell at her ex husband, in other circumstances we would have been friends. Found out he was born in the same state as me.
-
I am happy to hear that your relationship relies on traits such as honesty and communication at such levels. I can admit to having been chasing those for quite a while now. Are the remarks she is making during the fights taken out of proportions? While truth is often hard to bear, I suspect she adds more to it. As for your promise, picking up her phone is never going to entirely work. For all I know, you could very well not do that but eavesdrop, ask her friends about her whereabouts and so on. This event should he a reminder that she truly cares about what you two have and you are not this replaceable, ephemeral person in her life. Glad it got sorted out!
-
Yes she is making me feel secure again, and that's important to me, I don't want to feel like I can't trust her. She trusts me completely and she should my life is an open book. She can look at my phone at any time has all my passwords my email everything. I don't have any of those for her and I am fine with that, She is with me and I trust her, before the night she was texting her ex husband I had never seen her lie to me before. She did apologize for that and cried about it.
When she was mad she was calling me names, really hurt when I was feeling already down about her flirting with an ex husband. That I would never have known about the flirting if I didn't do what I did. Frankly I don't care if she flirts only if it's something more. But as they say ignorance is bliss.
-
I guess out of all of it I am more upset that she lied to me than anything she actually did, but I am more upset with myself for invading her privacy. That's on me and I will have a hard time forgiving myself for that. I trust her and nothing can change that because in my heart I believe in her, she means everything to me and in the end that's what counts in my book.
-
@AmysMan You are not a man . From my pov.
-
get that guy's number and date him
