I wanted to take a minute to explain myself and apologize



  • I wanted to take a minute to apologize and explain myself for the things I said in my post last week. This will be a long post, if you don’t know what I’m referencing or if you don’t care, this isn’t the post for you. However if you are one of the really chill people I’ve had the pleasure of talking with or if you were someone who cared enough to comment on my last post, this may be for you.

    I wanted to start out by explaining myself and hopefully you’ll understand why I went off and wanted to rage quit the site.

    Before I get into it I feel like I should explain why I joined the site in the first place. I liked the idea of chatting on a platform that wasn’t linked to any of my social media our of privacy concerns. I liked the idea of being able to chat somewhat anonymously with other users just to kill time whenever I had down time at work. Which, when you’re working 8-10 hour shifts at night, the night can go by very slow. Between attending to my patients, doing rounds, charts, and the potential for an unexpected emergency situation to present itself, theres not much going on during the night shift. Aside from the various unsyncapated beeps of the machines, its pretty quiet at the nurses station. And I’m not into playing games on my mobile device, nor can I watch anything with the sound on, and after awhile watching with subtitles for a while it starts to put me to sleep. So I thought chatting could be something that would keep me engaged and entertained as a means of killing time with out compromising my responsibilities at work.

    Now listen, I know that as the owner of a vagina, I knew that joining the site I was bound to get a few messages from people that were only interested in conversation that was of a sexual nature and or i’d get an uninvited nsfw picture. Unfortunately its the harsh reality all women have to deal with on the daily online and in real life. You more or less develop a thick skin and brush a lot of it off. You pick and choose your battles. But after I joined the site it wasn’t just a few messages, it was a tidal wave of guys messaging me requesting pictures, wanting to sext, wanting phone sex, wanting to nsfw webcam, or asking for my social media. For every one message I would seriously get 10-15 individuals that would send messages that were sexual in nature for every 1 down to earth chill person. At first I ignored them, then some got rude when I told them I wasn’t interested, then I started getting sexually harassed by a number of them. Thats were I draw the line. I don’t put up with sexual harassment in my real life and I won’t put up with it online.

    As time went on, so did the onslaught of unwelcomed sexually explicit messages. My patience had worn thin. I lost my chill and said “fuck it, I’m done”

    Thats when I posted that farewell post.

    I didn’t use the site for a number of days before logging on to go about getting a permanent deletion, but i checked my messages and it so happened I had a message from a moderator. He took the time to reach out and address what i had been going through on the site, recommended some settings, and tips (such as reporting users by flagging them, blocking, and certain rooms I might want to avoid) that could improve my experience with the site. Something about that message left me chilled. I thought If this guy took the time to calmly and respectfully check up on me and offer solutions to my issues, then I at the very least owe it to him to at least give him the benefit of the doubt and give the site a second chance.

    I’ve set my profile to only accept messages from people I follow moving forward. I’ll fill out my profile interest later tonight along with a disclaimer in my bio stating I am not interested, nor will I participate, or entertain any manner of conversation that is sexually explicit in nature. Anyway, that it for me for now.

    So with that being said, I want to apologize to the site and anyone I upset with the post referenced above.

    I’m Sorry

    -Lindsey



  • @Lindsey Girl, I can relate to this so much. I say "No thank you 😊" over and over and they continue. I really don't get it. I'm just glad at least in my experience there has been more normal people than not. I'm glad you stayed tho because you shouldn't let them get to you. You also shouldn't have to censor yourself when they don't. Thanks for speaking up and out for women like me! ❤



  • @Littlelion12 hey thanks for reading. I appreciate your words. I'll be sure to give you a follow back



  • @Gemini_Beta Hey thanks for commenting, Im glad and saddened to know I'm not alone. Like, these guys all have moms ya know, these guys know women, they have grandmas, moms, aunts, cousins, siblings, and some have daughters. What would the women in their lives think of some of the BS we've been subjected to, ya know? thanks, im going to try not to let it get under my skin



  • I entered this site thinking the same way ... Getting to know new people with different orientations, cultures and mentalities was, is and will always be my main reason for being here.

    I signed up for this site in April 2019, but I had doubts about it so I started studying people's way of thinking right her.

    I was really shocked ... Like the first question they ask you is either you are a male or a female (M/F?) ... Guys just quiet the conversation when I say that I am a male ... While girls quite it after I say that I am from Algeria.

    So I quiet the site for almost 8 months ... Last week I decided to log in and see if things changed somehow ... So I picked few online accounts and just send a simple message "Hi, How are you doing?".

    I didn't get a message back from all of them ... There were only 5 people who write back to me and one of them is you ... I really enjoy talking to them ... And I check about them daily.

    I really happy to meet such a pure soul like you and I am glad you didn't quiet the site ... Because lovely normal people are rare in here.



  • Yikes that sucks sorry you had that experience. That's why I go with the obscure pictures. I know you said you wont be accepting friends unless they're already established but I'm following you anyway you seem cool

    Oh and you're also a nurse!! High five



  • @blue-eyes hey blue eyes, you know. . . I get it, I took a lot of psych classes that weren't part of my major because i was fascinated by how the mind works, apart of my courses was human sexuality 1 and 2. So I understand it's a part thats wired into everyone, impulses and desire, but i think it shows who you are if you're unable to exhibit restraint when it comes to that stuff. I'll be sure to send a follow your way. thanks for reaching out



  • @Lindsey There is a time and place for everything. Some over step the line and are not bothered by the way the other person feels. They are purely out to gain there Preferences and sometimes force it your way
    It sad how some people are towards each other
    I can hold my head up high and be a true gent
    Respect as always
    Drop us a line. Don’t give up some of us are genuine and respectful
    🙂





  • @Lindsey hey Lindsey I'm completely failing to see.why you're apologising. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Please tell me you realise you've done nothing wrong. It's cringey the way a.lot of guys run around like a.dog with 2 dicks and it's their responsibility not yours. Having said that I'm really happy you've dècided to.stick around. I hope you now have a better experience on here but trust me, setting your stall out and being clear about what you do and don't want will not be a deterrent to a certain type of guy on here


  • Global Moderator Live Chat Regulars Music Lovers

    @Lindsey Lindsey, I feel for you for the negative attention you've had, here. As one of many who welcomed you, I was taken aback when I saw your post stating you were calling it quits, and the included reasons for making that decision. There ARE good people here, this I know to be true. There are friends to be made, and fun to be had. I understand that proportion-wise this was more than a "one bad apple spoils the bunch" scenario, for you, and understand why you wouldn't want to stay in that type of toxic environment. Then caught this recent post. I am glad a Mod reached out to you and offered some suggestions and such, in hopes of assisting you in having a better overall experience here. There's a lot of good here, in this community, and there's enough diversity to create an experience and environment that not only occupies your time, but allows you to explore and enjoy, and find fun, potential pals, and whatever else may suit you. And as unsavory as your experiences had been you are thoughtful enough to explain and even apologize? That shows your integrity, manners, and your character. It's more than probable that anyone who harassed you, was rude, or vulgar, or worse to you won't MAN UP and say they're sorry. Allow me to be one, of hopefully many, on behalf of this community, to offer you my sincerest apologies. With much respect, and admiration, best regards. Lazz



  • @m-y-s-t-e-r-y i think it's the nature of the attention that is the issue mystery. And she would be right. Are you suggesting she just shut up and accept it? Lindsey is in charge of what she does and doesn't want/find acceptable. No one else can tell her different. Something being actively true doesn't automatically make it right. Most positive change comes from people making a stand against unacceptable things. We shouldn't just accept the status quo, that's plainly ridiculous and there are countless examples, worker's rights, women voting, environmental change, a hundred things that have come about by people having a voice and using it.



  • @Scottish my sweetest friend, im apologizing because I was embarrassed by the fact that i allowed them to get under my skin enough for me to even give them the attention they wanted. I agree, it is very cringe worthy for some of these guys to behave the way they do and while their responsible for their own actions I also have to hold myself to be better than that. Im happy to stay and continue with the friends ive made too. yeah and i know, if a guy is dead set on being gross, he's gonna be gross.



  • Hey can I just say, i didn't post this with the desire to further escalate any unpleasantness on this platform. That being said, I am overwhelmed by the amount of support i've received. I had no idea there were so many kind people on here. And to my friends, you all know who you are. From the bottom of my heart thank you for your support


  • One Woman Army Music Lovers

    @Lindsey
    hey, i'm glad to see that you've decided to give this site another chance. we need good people like you around here 🙂



  • @Lindsey I do not know why guys have to be such idiots. A wonderful Chat without involving sex references is beyond me.
    I must be a rear find amongst the avalanche of crap that comes your way
    If you are bored and need a chilled out conversation then do please drop me a line
    Respect as always



  • @m-y-s-t-e-r-y I have one too though and I'm straight. She just wants a normal conversation from what I gather



  • @Lindsey

    You can always change the settings, so that random people can not flood you with unwelcomed messages, and only the people who you choose to talk to privately are able to do so.
    Screenshot_20200114-164531_Chrome.jpg



  • @F7k-B0y I completely understand what your saying.
    The amount of real genuine people are hard to find
    At least I’m genuine and don’t act an idiot like most of them that are on this site



  • @Lindsey I'm with @Scottish on this one, I'm glad he's said it too. You have nothing to apologise for. It's a positive thing that people like you have the strength of character to bring issues such as this into discussion rather than just put up with it blindly or disappear without saying a word as so often happens.

    I'm glad you are back, and I hope you have a better experience now.








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