• A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

    So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

    Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades...and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.

    His answer to the question: "What chair?"

  • An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.
    After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple.

    So she shot herself in the left kneecap.

  • @mikeJB I have a similar joke to the philosophy one (and it’s surprisingly a true story): A philosophy class of 40 sit at their seats to take the final exam. To the class’s confusion, they were given a paper that had only one question: “Why?”. To make matters even more difficult, the professor informed the class that this exam had only the outcomes of passing or failing, no middle grades (i.e., B-, C+, C, etc.). When the grading was complete for that class, only two students passed with an A+. One answered “Why not?”, while the other answered “Because“.