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    Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.


  • This is conflation. Rape is always rape but no does not always mean no. They are not the same topic and can't be spoken about as if they were.


  • @jian your example doesn't even mention anyone saying no. that was your addition. i've been raped, and i realize this isn't kind, but you're setting up an environment for contention, not for truth.


  • @jian sorry my bad.....


  • I agree but one thing i'd add is 'just because you regret having sex with someone doesn't mean you were raped'


  • I've been molested 3 times...2 out of the three times I was told I was making it up.....my story got changed around...I was told that the police officer thought it wasn't worth it bc he was tired and it was 2 in the morning..... the guy who got away with it tried again and still got away with it...my own mom didn't believe me and if your a mom PLEASE listen to your children


  • @sky1234 thank you for not taking offense, and i sincerely appreciate your consideration. this is such an important subject to talk about. i was trying to explain to a group the other day that teaching children not to rape is not the same as blaming them for raping. that's also conflation. it's tricky territory, which is why we need to talk it out.


  • But what if it wasn't real rape and the person is being falsely accused of that then should the trail go like that? With no one saying other wise and with no evidence what so ever just the simple saying that the rape happened and that is all? I am not trying to be disrespectful nor mean just saying it from a different perspective.


  • that's exactly why we have courts, judges, juries, lawyers and prisons. because it can be difficult to decide who's telling the truth.


  • @sky1234 if you are independent and responsible you are responsible for things you do and how you deal with the things happens to you. I do agree with you but i guess i have said enough


  • @jian Exactly and sometimes that is what happens in those courts just the simple was she raped which causes problems for men because sometimes it is false which no matter what even if they are found innocent their lives are ruined. Which makes us constantly walk on egg shells cause we can do the slightest thing that might make a girl mad or want revenge and then they can accuse us of rape and boom we're done for.


  • far more aggressors go free than free men are incarcerated. it's an unfortunate truth. so are all the victims of rape.


  • take a look at the catholic church. that is a literal refuge for pedophiles.


  • But what if the man is innocent then what is the use of using the rape card I know a friend who was accused of rape in middle school and he was not only expelled but also got disconnected from his friends, family, and was found innocent but the damage already was done. Yes, there are times that they are actual rapist and pedophiles but there are a lot of times when they are innocent.