Easy, let go of your ego.
There are two ways to do this.
- Do an extremely rigorous routine of physical and mental exercises. Search google for videos of juggling, calisthenics, piano or guitar playing, and most importantly, meditation (I recommend Alan Watts).
Following this path, you will eventually see no need to control any aspect of yourself because you never had control to begin with. You will notice yourself as you do when you are dreaming.
Seeing as you think very lowly of yourself, this way will almost certainly fail. You would probably be way better off with:
- Learn how to use TOR and Bitcoin. Then, take three or four good hits of DMT. That's all really. I can't explain why you should do this or what you will get out of it. Best to leave it a mystery.