You're a benefit to humanity


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    You are not a threat to the society
    Just give a break to u and your anxiety
    There are the reasons of variety
    But not about you and your personality

    Trust me you do matter
    Look, a bird for you that chatter
    They would make you flatter
    You just made happy marbles scatter

    To the world you are important
    Look, those stars twinkling at constant
    Just don't be a dark absorbent
    Don't let your happiness be shortened

    Don't let your soul be depressed
    thank god you are the one blessed
    some do not even get it expressed
    but they are the ones more oppressed

    They are the ones seeking for hope
    In some situations, they cannot cope
    They don't see happiness even by a microscope
    Have to climb to the top from a steep slope

    But they do know how to handle the pain
    And you must get it inside your brain
    Ending it all will owe you no gain
    In fact, you'll lose the beauty of the rain

    Many of you get your ego hurt
    That is such a shame and dirt
    How ending it all is gonna give you comfort
    "I'm stupid" should be written on your shirt

    Trust me, it will get better with time
    Sit back and taste this juice of the lime
    You will need some energy to climb
    Turn those happy memories on rewind

    You are blessed, you are alive
    C'mon and give me a high five
    Put on the seat belt and I'll drive
    We need to tell others they need to survive

    I always knew in some part
    Something was there in your heart
    That wanted you alive from the start
    Now, you and happiness can never be apart!

    DW


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @hermes said in Suicide is not an option:

    Suicide is an option

    It DEFINITely(definite+ly) is, just look at the DEFINITion

    Option:

    "a thing that is or may be chosen."

    Can people choose suicide? They sure can. Should they chose suicide? It depends but 99% of the time HELL NO


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    @thestrangest Okay, some logical explanation coming over here. 🙃


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @fearlesswoman

    you might want to use something like this before posting your poems:
    http://www.reverso.net/spell-checker/english-spelling-grammar/

    Example:

    1st try to paste the whole text as it is

    0_1524400519480_Screenshot_20180422-143127.png

    You'll get an aerror because it's too long so see how many paragraphs you can fit at a time

    I found out that it was 3 paragraphs

    2nd paste in what you wrote in parts and see what spelling/ grammar/ form of a verb isn't accepted then search what the correct writting is if you don't think the program got it right

    1st part

    0_1524400699907_Screenshot_20180422-143416.png

    Result:

    You are not a threat to the societyJust give a break to you and your anxietyThere are the reasons of variety But not about you and your personalityTrust me, you do matterLook, a bird for you that chatterThey would make you fatterYou just made happy marbles scatterTo the world you are importantLook, those stars twinkling at constantJust don't be a dark absorbentDon't let your happiness be shortened

    Found errors

    U>You
    Trust me you do matter>trust me, you do matter
    Flatter>fatter>(there was an error detected but the suggested solution was incorrect too)>(find the correct form of the verb by looking for it on google or whatever)>flattered

    2nd part

    0_1524401236801_Screenshot_20180422-144501.png

    Result:

    Don't let your soul be depressed thank god you are the one blessed some do not even get it expressed but they are the ones more oppressed They are the ones seeking for hopeIn some situations, they cannot copeThey don't see happiness even with a microscope Have to climb to the top of a steep slopeBut they do know how to handle the painAnd you must get it inside your brainEnding it all will owe you no gainIn fact, you'll lose the beauty of the rain

    Found errors

    By>with
    From>of

    3rd part

    0_1524401646059_Screenshot_20180422-145353.png

    Result:

    Many of you get your ego hurtThat is such a shame and dirtHow ending it all is gonna give you comfort "I'm stupid" should be written on your shirtTrust me, it will get better with timeSit back and taste this juice of the limeYou will need some energy to climbTurn those happy memories on rewindYou are blessed, you are aliveC'mon and give me a high fivePut on the seat belt and I'll driveWe need to tell others they need to survive

    Found errors:

    Gonna>(there is an error detected but there are multiple suggested solutions in which only 1 is correct)>(choose the right one)>going to

    Note

    If this was supposed to be a rhetorical question then it should be

    "How is ending it all going to give you comfort?"

    4th part

    EVERYTHING IS CORRECT

    Everything put together + highlighted edits from me:

    You are not a threat to the society
    Just give a break to you and your anxiety
    There are the reasons to variety
    But not about you and your personality

    (Btw "reasons to variety" is incomprehensible, what does that even mean? The following "But not about you and your personality" also doesn't make sense in this case)

    Trust me you do matter
    Look, a bird for you that chatters
    They would make you flattered
    You just made happy marbles scatter (what does this mean?)

    To the world you are important
    Look, those stars twinkling at are constant
    Just don't be a dark absorbent
    Don't let your happiness ("life be shortened" is better in my opinion) be shortened

    Don't let your soul be depressed
    thank god you are the one blessed
    some do not even get it , when (optional but sounds better) expressed
    but they are the ones more oppressed**(WHAT DOES THIS MEAN)**

    They are the ones seeking for hope
    In some situations, they cannot cope
    They don't see happiness even with a microscope
    Have to climb to the top of a steep slope

    But they do know how to handle the pain
    And you must get it inside your brain
    Ending it all will owe you no gain
    In fact, you'll lose the beauty of the rain(i really don't think someone would give a shit about the rain in such a state)

    Many of you get your egos hurt
    That is such a shame and dirt
    How is ending it all going to give you comfort?
    "I'm stupid" should be written on your shirt

    Trust me, it will get better with time
    Sit back and taste this juice of the drained from lime
    You will need some energy to climb
    Turn Put those happy memories on rewind

    You are blessed, you are alive
    C'mon and give me a high five
    Put on the seat belt and I'll drive
    We need to tell others they need to survive

    I always knew in some part(i don't feel like "knew in some part" is correct but it might be)
    Something was there in your heart
    That wanted you alive from the start
    Now, you and happiness can never be apart!

    I just corrected how what you wrote was written but there are other things i consider to be in poor taste and show ignorance of what depression actually is

    Examples

    -"Just give a break to you and your anxiety"
    -"Don't let your soul be depressed"
    -""I'm stupid" should be written on your shirt"

    And i also don't like "thank god you are the one blessed" but that's for a different reason

    I'd like to explain why those statements in my opinion are bad but i don't feel like it right now

    P.S. Even after the correction some lines are just incomprehensible so improve what you're doing


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @fearlesswoman you're welcome


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @the_weird_kid said in Suicide is not an option:

    What if you are threat to society?

    a threat*

    Idk, stop being such by seeking help?


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    @fearlesswoman nothing wrong with that. Keep up the good work, and let's hear you sing this, well at least let me hear you sing this.



  • @FearlessWoman This is great. 😍 😍
    It's a great display of your talent as well as feelings & emotion.
    I can think of no better way to spread your beliefs in this matter.
    Your words have touched me.
    Thank you.



  • @fearlesswoman
    This is very beautifully written buddy.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Beautiful



  • @thestrangest

    I absolutely agree tbh


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    @ᑕᖇiᗰᔕ-ᑎ And that is the perfect reason why I am telling them to not choose that option and see around them and they will realize that there are people who are facing similar pressure (maybe even worse) towards themselves but they do not think suicide is an option to solve their problems.


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    @thestrangest Thank you. I will definitely improve on it 🙂


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    @fearlesswoman it's cute and sing songy. I bet it would sound better in song than just reading it.


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @us-poet true



  • @thestrangest good point


  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    @the_weird_kid I do not believe anyone is a threat to the society unless if one is a criminal or something.



  • @fearlesswoman True XD


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @fearlesswoman said in Suicide is not an option:

    @the_weird_kid I do not believe anyone is a threat to the society unless if one is a criminal or something.

    Maybe you should change it to "you're a benefit to humanity" it sounds better


  • Watch Anime Eyes

    @us-poet said in You're a benefit to humanity:

    @fearlesswoman nothing wrong with that. Keep up the good work, and let's hear you sing this, well at least let me hear you sing this.

    I'd like so too but most importantly I'd like to see it revisited, reviewed and edited



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