@am
To all people who got stuck in such a deadlock,
Ask yourself what kind of person you'd admire, and set such a personality as a goal or a path to follow in life. Try to change yourself bit by bit, every day. If you want to see change, act towards it. Now. You are in full possession of your awesome body nature has gifted you. I always say this to a lot of people~ Life is like a ticket to an awesome movie, if you wanna watch it, go ahead. If you feel like you have no use with it, just give it to someone else you feel is worthy of your "ticket"- your time, your energy, attention, love, your everything. Don't waste it! :))
With love,
Pr~ <3