Friends are not easy to make. If you are struggling, do not beat yourself up. Keep yourself at a high standard, you shouldn't have to dumb youself down to fit in. The activities you are in, are great way to meet different individuals. Maybe they are not what you are looking for, continue following what you enjoy and try new things. Eventually you'll find yourself involved in an activity and someone will come along (and it ALWAYS happens when you are off guard and not actively looking). You'll click, and a friendship will bloom.
I'm in the same boat though. It can become frustrating be the one that always checks up on people, but get nothing back. But just think.. only leaders take charge 😉 you got this!