Posts made by yellowpopcorn

hello, random stranger here.
i've been having a really hard time.My family and friends calls me fat, ugly and stupid in front of all my relatives, my mom to my friends and colleagues. It is just so hard to see myself in the mirror and on the weighing scale. As a mother, she can be nice at times but crushes my self-esteem daily, saying that i'll never get married and I don't have friends. I know I am quite fat for my age and my grades are not that great, but is there something I can do? I can never have a normal conversation with her without going into arguments. I really would like to end it, sometimes. I'm bulimic and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself.I would shove lots of food then get rid of it, or starve myself occasionally. It did not change my weight much. I also have few close friends and those that know my secret told me that I was judgemental, so I would feel like I'm being judged. Generally, I am an easy going and sociable person, but I just get so so so tired trying to make others happy. Cutting helped sometimes, punching myself did too. I have to reveal my results to my mom soon, but I'm just tired because I know the outcome. I've been sick many times this year, I don't know what's wrong with me and I am trying my best to help everyone until I use up all my energy. I am just tired of living...