Posts made by Wendys Official

"We are just sims 5 for god"

If you give a mouse a cookie,
He will bring his rodent friends and infest your house.

   Moral of the story don't trust any fucking mice.

Lawer: anything you say can and will be held against you
Kid: titties!
Lawer: (under breath) fuck he's good

Ribbed condoms taste nothing like ribs

Dear FBI agent,

I really appreciate you for dealing with my search history
Sincerely, sheriff

Once upon a midnight dreary, While I porn surfed, weak and weary. Once many a strange and spurious site full of hot xxx galore. While i clicked my favorite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning. And my heart was full of mourning, mourning for my dear amour. 'Tis not possible' I muttered ' give me back my free hardcore' Quothe the server... "404"

Are handjobs given by a girl who speaks sign language considered blowjobs?

Queue is just Q with 4 silent letters

If smart water is so smart why is it trapped in a bottle?

Soda is just angry water

I don't drink water because water touched fish dick. And I'm not gay. Miss me with that gay shit

Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up on their dream!

Nickleback is a Good band
- no one ever