It has been so very long.
Since you have been gone.

Do I ever cross your mind?
When your looking up at the sky.

Like a sunken ship at the bottom of the sea.
My memorey is berried to far to be.

When I last checked it was clear to see.
That in your heart there was no longer a memory called me.

Do not get me wrong.
I understand the reason of your why.

My heart knows the truth.
There will never be a goodbye.

I realized way to late.
The reason for this fate.

The us we where was only I.
I had hurt you and pushed you aside.

I was living my life through blinded eyes.
I lived from one hurt to the next lie.

I never even stoped to see why.
You where no longer by my side.

Fueled by hurt I always denied.
I left you in the distance now out of sight.

But my tank it finnaly runs dry.
And what I did to you I carry inside.

A true reminder of just why.
You never owed me.
Your Goodbye

We can't travel back in fantasy.
Time does not exist out side the human construct. We made it up. What we call time helps us measure our experience. But nothing more.

People get sidestepped into believing time exists as a physical entity because we've invented clocks.

In 2002 scientists carried out an amazing experiment, which showed that pairs of particles knew in advance what its twin would do in the future. Somehow, the particles knew what the researcher would do before it happened, as if there were no space or time between them. More recently (Science 2007), scientists shot particles into an apparatus, and showed they could retroactively change something that had already happened. The particles had to decide what to do when they passed a fork in the apparatus. Later on, the experimenter could flip a switch. It turns out what the observer decided at that point, determined what the particle did at the fork in the past. The knowledge in the observer's mind is the only thing that determines how they behave.

@Tim-Hamrick

So yes it's our world our lives.
Why can't we see it all could be so much better .
All we would have to do is decide and it will happen.

Here I am in the darkest of places.
I stand all alone as Im feeling these places.

I thought the darkness had left for the light.
Its mere presence often feels me with delight.

Wait how could this be?
In the light my darkness, she found me.

So yes my dance with darkness goes on.
The darkness will never leave me alone.

I embrace it, I caress it, I hold it so near.

With this great romance.
How can the end ever be here.

So we float on a sky of pillows so gray.
As the bones of dolls carry us away.

Aww; To be near you my darkness;your love is so clear.

O my love I shutter to think of the light
And those poor souls who live in its
frieght.

Always missing the the paleness of moon light.Living with thier disgraces.Never able
to hide their Crumbling Faces.

Yes it was close to my friends house. It was one of those perfect times. Autumn with hollows Eve so near. Type O Negative's black no 1. Was playing as it was pop in that day. I spent the whole time with my friend Harmony. It was great.

I think God like good and evil are an artificial constructs. The ego is driven to find something to cling on to. Sacrifice your ego let go of everything and just be,so hard right cause letting go of what is not you means having no excuse. Or saftey net cause we all will die someday. So I ask before you exzisted where you dead. Where were you before you where created.So why fear what you already are. You came from nothing but apart of everything in this living being called the universe. We are so great and we all are apart of it. We are as we always have been. Drop the chains of your ego and reach mountains stars planets. By just being.

@Wicked_
You have some depth to your words.
It did remind of a song I heard.
I would like to read some free form you make.

So if you ever want to I would love to see some

You know lots of great ones you all.
For me beauty is when she dances or is having fun. And her eyes cause you to smile. Or how she does her hair. But most beautiful of is those days when . Purpose,words,beauty,lust are not used or needed. As both relax on the edge of waters banks. They in each other's arms.
Are still with the water. No thinking no worrying or greed or need. And in that moment that is endless for them. They feel each other's heart beats.Stay in rythyme with the heart beats of the universe

@Aimee26
Those are good words and the way you use them poetic. I do not know if this will help?
But here's a story from my experience.And I hope it shows you how life is just life.I dated an incredible woman named Audrey. We where so in love. At one point we broke up.We each had issues mine bigger. But one day as we talked knowing it wouldn't work. We spent a final day together. At the Chinese restaurant her fortune
cookie said. Stop looking for love it's right in front of you. This brought tears to her eyes.
That ride to take her home was the longest of my life. We had said earlier two broken people can't work. Then on the radio broken together played. We both where in tears.At here home we huged she said I'll never forget you. I said I'll always love you. And I drove away I looked in my mirror. My heart sank a little. But to my surprise. I said thats my best friend. All the sighns were there for a fairy tale true love story.
But it didn't happen. Indeed one can say move on but heal first. I'm ok and last I checked she's married and has a big loving family. I can not stay inconntact as our bond was too strong.
And her new husband doesn't like me. Which I understand. I'm happy for her. But I miss my best friend.

For me It have never been about the guns.
Before guns people had no problem killing others for what ever reason. So should people be banned.Banning guns at best slows down bad people a half step maybe.
Wasn't guns that did 911. So it's a slippery slope and is the start of tyrants.Only if the world banned fists could harm come to an end. But then no one could do good either.Look it makes no difference at all.
Simply put should all people that cause violence be banned? Of course not so it's a deeper questions if no guns no weapons. It was people that killed by gun or spear or rock they just are. We have to do our best and live while we can.

I think both of you are so great not just good writters. But you both have such
Pure hearts they shine. Thank you

And no you did not hurt me. But thank you for your compassion. I read what you said it is an ocean. And I'm so tired of running that it all hits me. And I drown. My tears are not for me but for the ones who tryied to love me and I nearly drown them with me. In my bad way. Maybe I want just read your words but I will listen. My will has always been strong but I am so tired and my head aches last forever. I don't look for pitty. I just hope I find peace one day.

Thank you your words give hope. I get so full of hurt and anger. I can not do what I once did. I hope you know there was a time when I would give money my last dollar to help someone. I litterly have my cousin a 2400 sq foot house. They repaired it for 14,000 it's worth 175'000 now. My daughter's bed room was so big she could ride her bike in there. I could not stay I would pull up. My daughter I could always hear her little feet across the hardwood. As she ran to greet me. Daddys home!!!
My friend asked me one day way do you wait outside your house. I said cause I'm waiting to hear her little feet across the floor.

I know others have suffered much in this life as well I'm no better then anyone. And thanks for letting me tell you what I keep inside.

@Dark-Sunshine

I do apologise as though my pride would never.
But my grandmother rasied me in a matrarchal family. Which did not mean being less then a man. But respect those who bring life into this world. True you did not like what I said and I respect that. But it's a debate posting site of open free expression. There is litterly no one who's opinion you did not ask....I imagine if in public that last thing I said. You would have punched me tied me to a bus and dragged me through hot molten lava did not mean to desrespect you at all. But it's clear I offended you. I do apologise. From this I say Not another word will I speak on a post of yours without asking. A bid you ado your humbled offender looking for mercy and hoping for your forgiveness

I think y'all funny as hell. I mean I leaped in head first. And got riped apart. Like being jumped into a gang. That is a metaphor ok home skillets implies nada. But and I know y'all going to bomb me on this. But no pun ok look. A topic on this site is chosen then picked and posted. As general open debate. Because if you did not want someone's opinion. Are better yet the going phrase I didn't ask you your opinion. But you did when you made the ansumption that what you post deserves a little ego boost. That your words flowed with such purpose the entire world must see. But y'all solid in my book. And regardless weather you like or hate me. I am me you are you. Let's not waste time hatting when folks of intelligence such as us debate.

Well as I have apologised. I see you conduct yourself in the same manner.
I never mention a name or culture or well defined who. O' wait whom. But I see it as freedom of expression. Just as you had the right as they did to point out an obvious mistake. Which in no way did that happen as Irony.The information given was then also received. Look y'all all are pretty cool.

Again look closely at my words. I have mention no names. You litterly are fighting on both sides. I can look at your post and see the same. Your past post they have history with jumps to insult others. In sociology of course I went afray. Wild and crazy I wanted to see how many people identify them selves. To be precived by others as a select group of names. My control carried out by a friend. Well turned out to be the birth of this experiment. He yelled from behind some shrubs hey you peace of shit. I litterly passed by with out so much as batting my eye. I did not identify as a peace of shit so who ever said that. Wasn't meant for me. 100% Of the time someone, when words of wisdom let's say where used. The distance of at least 15 feet away. Would come back to us. We where litterly facing a metal wall saying these things. To the wall and yeah you get it. And my list of words in my privous post came completely random of select words in which. I simply plucked from the posts with out reading them just chose a word. I do apologise and wish you good all your days. And I will cherish my award.
As I know dad's looking down from heaven saying. That's my boy he's a winner.
See laugh guys have fun. It what guys do you F#ck with each other.

@James-C-137
Thanks you where able to understand.
Yea I use to have temper. And would fight for anyone to have peace and joy. I am far from having no fault. When the smoked cleared. I was left looking at what caused my life to as it is. Me bad choices and chasing building this and trying to give the ones I loved the most.
Like Aron Lewis song says. " I lost it all"
Now all that is left is the sadness and shame.
Thanks I appreciate how you responded. And any one I offended I apologise. And you all well. I will work on my anger issues .

@Cold-Sun
Ok I understand your prospective. And respect it truthfully. But there was no use of gender at all.
As not only suffering which tore my life apart. At a time I was nearly beaten to death in my employers parking lot. Left with brain damage. No income those with me my only family. As I am litterly alone all my nearst kin are dead.
I had to choose bring them done with me or get them away. So they can be happy and have thier dreams filled. I could not use a phone or go into the light for 8 months. My love and our daughter
who I had to watch cry daddy when can we go home. Butt yes I accept my failures. And own the shit that happen. My ex and daughter are well taken care of. I will never be who I was again.and years I have tried to be myself again. But it's gone I was left with just enough brain to to watch this unfold . I did not find help or mercy with any church or Christiane nor any faith of good will. Butt a person of the status some do not like.Showed me how to walk to read and talk and engage in conversation.
So I do have a sorter attention spand. But is no excuse I was wrong in how I replied to you I apologise. And accept at fault . I hope you understand none of that is an excuse. It's just what lead me to now. It's clear I still have work ahead of me.

@Tim-Hamrick

Butt a bigger issue my fellow language destroying humans. Did we really see these key words. Here is a list

Karate
Balls
Kick you (as referenced to a female by male)

So before I go on this note. I leave you and bid you a due. I will not be seeing replies or anything from this as I have moved on. Me myself and I think it best too.Its not you it's me.
I'm just going to get cigs ok. So listen ......…

I don't have a horse in this race. But for gods sakes I understand a left out letter like q or auto correct putting what it thinks should go. We are human we all make mistakes. The savage beating the English language endures. At the hands of people for whom it is not their first language. Plenty put the time in and study a language. So please end this savage empaling of English. Do ye not have blood and it bleed as mine red. Then why would thou cast a stone at an iron wall. I dare to say no quarter would be given to me. If I where to use your native language this way.
And if it's a dissorder I wish you the best.
And hope you do well. And wow guys around the world thank you. Yes girls women love a bad boy. But the bar has been not lowered but gone completely'garbage in garbage out.