i think u need a break from everything emotionally mentally and physically. its great that you are taking professional help which i hope it may work for you but i think may be you are going from healing process like even now u feel like this so broken u still holding it and keep moving dont stop now healing is not always be graceful one day u feel shit next day u feel fine it all about the discomfort then acceptance and then growth and yep people are all complex our these emotions feelings make us complex and that is normal and human. take care
R