@Scottish I hope uve found some solace n wish to do the same!

@Scottish I hope uve found some solace n wish to do the same!

Yea I know...its just....im stuck w this shit...n ive been to plenty of therapists....they try to help n talk shit out...but idk its not worked in the 3 yrs ive been trying(for the current trauma) it comes to a point I'm not even trying to "work thru that situation"...im just tired of the bs n honesty feels easier to keep to myself...ive been keeping a "journal" on my phone the past 2 days...the situations n how they played out...idk if this is the place to post them..
It feels more of the need to get it out...than for some action to happen because of it?

At the moment....pissed....the few I have to talk to r always busy....i get w work for 1...but hes got plenty of time to play video games n when I mention like the exact thing that is upsetting me(among others) (example getting raped by 2 fuckers a few yrs ago...n its just I'm so sorry but u will make it out okay u just gotta "believe u can overcome it) ..but won't bring it up ever the initial confession?) n ok I know he cant fix me! But its just blown over....after that initial blow off...im the kind of person that'll just shut down n put on the happy face...to make sure everyone else isnt uncomfortable while I stay awake til 4am thinking of that n other crap....its just gotten to the point I drink every night just to go to sleep without the replays of my bs playing in my head honestly i forgot the direction of this message ...n also...i am very much the 1 to laugh or make jokes about the things that have happened...so I hope no one thinks I'm bullshitting...i would like the help but thats just how it comes out

Well good cuz I fuckin hate jogging! n well...at this very moment....i finished my four loko(dont judge me it hits harder n faster than a mikes!)

So yes I did just post about my boo boo I'm hurting n sad post...which I still hope to get help with and in no way making fun of people w similar situations cuz fuck that!...its just when it comes to myself I have the worst self respect n whatever else....but on a different note....im sooooo bored...my "friends" ive text...didnt get it/ havent seen it. Surprise surprise....but I'm goddamn bored n need something to talk about!(crude humor-i love, stances on certain topics-i love to debate) anything!

I'm new to this...never done a chat room before. I will admit from the beginning I've had a drink..but honestly thats when I can tell my truths? I have others I'm close to but am tired of bombarding them w my bullshit. I write it out in a journal but it feels more like I need the human interaction( criticism, empathy, acknowledgment) without it being personal for the person reading. And yes I do see a therapist every week n psychologist...but the same w them...im not always comfortable w that n like the idea of anonymity. Wouldnt even know exactly where to start....it seems like its just been 1 shit show after another n then they just accumulate to the point u ask me flat out "what is bothering u right this minute" n I honestly dont know thought id give this a try