You didn't kill your mom.

You might blame yourself for not paying closer attention to her symptoms or for being preoccupied with anime/games.

You might even feel guilty in the general sense, for taking her for granted, for not telling her you loved her often enough, etc, things of that nature.

But you didn't kill her.

I can't tell if you just went for a clickbait title or if your sense of loss and/or guilt and/or responsibility and/or shame really is making you believe that extreme version of the narrative in your own mind.

Either way, the best advice I can give is to remind you that:

• she was a generation older than you and -- barring fatal accidents or unforseen medical complications altering the life-expectancy of you or your sister -- she was almost certainly guarenteed to have died long before you did. As is the course of nature. Not your fault.
• it actually does sound like you did a lot. I mean, let's face it, given that you're not a medical professional it is not your fault that you didn't discern any serious problem with your mom right away. But, you did ask her, repeatedly. You called the doc despite your own mother's protests and he prescribed the same pill for gastric problems that your mother intuited. You checked in on her pain afterwards too and once again she reassured you. You don't inhabit her body or experience her nerve endings, so the next best thing you can rely on is her word and the word of experts like the doc on the phone who gave you an educated guess as to the most likely cause for the pain. And if you're still gonna guilt yourself over the fact that you dared to take a bathroom break or watch something onscreen in between, you didn't continue to pester her for redundant confirmations like a good and loving son would have done, staring at her without blinking all the while... "ok. u killed y--" oh wait, what am I saying, even your own mom had a side convo with your sister while watching TV. And this was after you fed her and got her second dose of meds that she said were relieving her pain. Seriously, you're being way too hard on yourself about this. You did what you could and had no further control beyond what you did.
• I'd also remind you that, setting the events of that day aside for the moment and looking at your time together holistically... you have an entire lifetime's worth of memories to draw from. Without guilt nor shame, savour and cherish them and keep your mother alive in your memories -- trust me, she wouldn't want her son to be unfair to himself either. And if you really think you could have been better in that situation, practice being more present with your sister and other family and loved ones who are still here.

You have my earnest, utmost and sincerest condolences for your loss.

Words like this will only seem like an empty gesture or serve as a meaningless plattitude, I know, but even if we're not family -- one human to another -- I love you and we care about your well being.

Take care of yourself and remember that your mother would want to see her son thriving rather than be crushed by self-loathing blame-games.

P.S.

I tried to not visit the night my grandfather died. I could never understand his mumbles and his hands were so shaky. And besides, Toonami was gonna be in about 90 min.

But my dad didn't buy my excuses so we went.

Halfway through the visit I pretended to feel sick, once again, so I can get back home to catch some cartoons. I was back home watching Transformers when the call came in...

...so, yeah, I can sorta understand where you're coming from a bit. Not completely, but I do kinda relate ngl.

pea pull r diff rent frm ewe. if u no like, dnt in tar net

There. Inarticulate and illiterate enough for your personal preference of conveniently short and overly simplified reductionist homogeneity?

bettr? u happy naow?? huhh???

@Ashish_ said in Most Evil thing:

WTF THIS USER NEVER ANSWERS WITH A SHORT REPLY

1. It's been 10+ years since those events took place, and I hadn't told a single soul till now. I think my self-imposed vow-of-silence affords me some leeway in being as vocal as I choose to be when I finally spill the tea.
2. More generally speaking, this user is... using a.. forum. An open forum. A public forum. A place where people can post as much or as little content as they so desire.

The site isn't called "Talk with terse strangers" it's "Talk with strangers" so expect to come across a myriad of widely and wildly fluctuating variation of people from all different walks of life expressing themselves in a plethora of ways.

If you're not quite ready to face that music, I suggest you take a break from the internet, cuz it's not gonna get any easier for you the deeper you dive into it ¯_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

@The-Mods said in Most Evil thing:

I didnt judge ur action cz I already assume it should be bad since I asked yall to mention an evil action u did ...Plus u assume a lot of shit like " we are a gang coming together to fuck with u " lol

First of all, I was employing satirical humor lol. Secondly, it doesn't really matter tbh. And I wrote as much in my original post, that a lot of judgement might come my way simply because I chose to answer this Q as candidly as I did (and/or because I did so without showing remorse for my "most evil thing" too)

So in a sense I was already preemptively prepared for this sort of bias since most people would readily prefer your evil simple story about stealing chocolate bars or handkerchiefs vs stealing somewhere between $8K ≥ $10K from a girl in mourning by exploiting her (physical and emotional) needs, manipulating her inexperience (with relationships and money management), and preying on her fears (of not doing enough to "earn" my affections + constantly reminding her that without me she'd once again be all alone in this world)

One is literally child's play, and is so generic that it could apply to anyone (though that also a strength since it means almost everyone could relate to some variation of your story) whereas the other story describes an individual with a "disturbing" lack of moral conscience (though I myself don't feel disturbed. Even over a decade after reflecting on the events and finally sharing it with the world, I still chose to admit in the present day that looking back I genuinely don't feel conflicted about it)

But here's the rub: On principle is not "stealing a handkerchief sticking out from their pocket / a chocolate bar while shopping at the supermarket" etc just as opportunistic as I was when I rushed to her dorm room an hour after the news to take advantage of her instability?

I'm not saying the scale or duration is comparable at all.

• Scale: one is a momentary slight of hand of a ~$1-10 dollar item whereas I played prolonged mind-games to steal ~10000-1000x times that value
• Duration: and after I successfully got my hooks into her posing as potential bf material during that closing window of uniquely lucrative opportunity (the day of + the following week, right after the memorial) I didn't decide to just sit back and wait to capitalize on her emotional investment in me at a later date.
  • I let my little social-engineering experiment run it's course and play out over the following weeks.
  • And when the money finally started flooding my way, I continued the con for months on end to get as much as I possibly could.
  • Even when the money eventually dried up, I kept her hooked for the free labor and supplies around the house... plus other physically gratifying benefits

So, yeah, I get it. It's just not the same... when it comes to the degree to which I took it. But... y'all were operating on the same principle whenever you stole from your family and let your cousin or whoever else took the fall, whenever you decided this little snack-able bar will benefit me, or when you simply chose to pickpocket a stranger just to see if you could do it, just cuz, for the shts and giggles. Et cetera. Et cetera.

But hey, it is what it is. People will upvote the "silly, simple" moments of mischief, and they'll downvote my "cruel, callous" months of manipulation... even though the topic quite literally asks us to like the "Most Evil thing"

But let's be perfectly honest here, none of y'all can actually pretend to be better than me when the principle of the problem still stands: we will act selfishly (and/or throw others under a bus while doing it) whenever it suits our needs. Welcome to the human condition.

Friendly FYI that I've also acted altruistically.

• I've helped to build houses for the homeless in partnership with Habitats for Humanity in Houston.
• I've voluntarily worked at soup-kitchens in Dallas feeding the starving.
• I've donated money to charities in New York (liquidating something like ~85-90% of what I had, out of my own pocket, to do it)
• I've tutored college applicants and incoming freshmen students in San Francisco.
• I spearheaded an after-school comp-sci educational program at a middle-school.
  • Also volunteered for their pre-existing summer-school program and took those kids on a trip to a robotics competition!
• I've even put on puppet shows for children in after feeding them in daycares.
• Temped at a nursing home.
• Also at a hospital.
• Not to mention the literal hundreds if not thousand plus hours I've put in for various churches over the years.

All for free, without expecting any form of compensation in return (okay, I did end up getting paid for the summer-school gig, but that's besides the point lol cuz that's not why I chose to do it)

And hey, I'm sure y'all have had such selfless moments as well. Good for you. Once again, welcome to the human condition.

The only key differentiator I've perceived (thus far, at least) is that I don't pretend to be evil when I'm using other people, nor do I pretend to be righteous when I'm helping other people. I'm aware that those are the classifications most people place on such actions, but there are a subset of people like me who don't do it because we're emotionally disgusted by / driven to such horrible / laudable actions. We do the "evil / good" things simply because we chose to, and the labels that get placed on them is really by the rest of society.

Of course, I live amongst you in such a society, so I try to keep my supposedly "wicked" deeds to a minimum and I indulge in "virtuous" acts whenever the whim strikes me, because -- once again -- that's what y'all seem to value... but take notice that, yet again, I'm doing so out of a self-centered sense of preservation (and, perhaps, to a degree it could be considered selfless too in that I'm promoting "do more good than bad" to others around me since I like living in this sort of society too. But that's more of a minor side-effect really of my selfish desire to survive amongst you emotionally driven lot)

Anyway, the TL;DR version is that I don't think I've ever been able to adequately empathize with another -- regardless of whether it's a morally righteous or morally reprehensible act I'm engaging in at the time. I'm not driven to volunteer at a homeless shelter because my heart breaks for the plight of the downtrodden. I just decided to do so. Simply being "good for goodness' sake" so to speak, is enough for me to act. Likewise, I didn't use a dead mother's money meant for her daughter to live rent free for a quarter of that year just cuz I am villainous or evil lmao. The schemes were merely a means to an end, period. I thought I could pull off a con pretending to be something she desired and needed, I decided to go through with the plan, and I stuck the landing. It really was as simple as that.

Now... if any of y'all think that my lack of empathy when engaging in such actions (whether the rest of you in society classify and label them as "good" or "bad, "right" or wrong", "Im/Moral" etc) is problematic, we can probably discuss that. That's a key differentiator that I've noticed over the last 15 years between myself and the vast majority of other people that I've met.

But setting aside the elements of emotional revulsion vs revelry in "Most Evil / Most Righteous" deeds (which y'all clearly experience and yet I do not) yeah lol y'all can't and don't get to pretend that you've got some moral high ground over me.

As difficult as this maneuver may be for some of you, try to climb on down from your holier-than-thou moral-high-horse and be level-headed with me. Look me in the eye and tell me none of you have ever acted in a selfish manner before. Or try to point your finger at me and pretend that I'm incapable of acting in a selfless manner. The second you do, I'm gonna call BS.

We're all human here, and as such every single one of us is perfectly capable of both. My motivations might differ from yours (for the record, I feel that emotionally motivated acts of charity or crime are inconsistent -- you're just window-shopping ...which is probably why I have no problem going to the extreme lengths I do when volunteering down in the ditches selflessly or selfishly manipulating people in my past relationships for physical or financial gain) but neither one of us can escape the impetus to "evil" nor the impulse to "good"

So go ahead everyone, give me the "most downvotes" for truly representing the "most evil thing" this question specifically asked us to reveal lmao. I may take it farther than some of you do, but you're no different from me because you're all capable and willing to do it to whenever it suits your needs, wants and desires (albiet, in smaller degrees, cuz pretty soon y'all tend to "feel bad" smh. And then, somehow, I'M considered some lower level of sub-human? Simply cuz I stuck to it and acted consistently unlike the rest of you?? lmfaooo nope I don't think so, y'all are just as despicable and deplorable as me, you just save face after doing it and I don't care cuz I know exactly what I am and I stay true to form ☯️ #YinYang #DichotomousDuality #WelcomeToTheHumanCondition)

@The-Mods said in Most Evil thing:

@erikagautney It was not me who downvoted ur reply

Oh... ok, well, fair enough @The-Mods

It happened right around the same time you replied, so it seemed to correlate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But if you say so, I'll take your word for it 👍🏼

@Ash33 youtube.com/results?search_query=dopamine+detox

America's Obsession With Being Productive Is Hurting Mental Health

• A simple side-effect of the pandemic?
• Or is it symptomatic of a deeper problem endemic to 21st century capitalist culture?

As someone who is in a highly competitive field + who personally happened to be a productivity nerd long before I decided to go down this career path (I can tell you how many pomodorii I allocated for TWS today vs how many of those cycles I spent on R&D. That's right, that's how geeked out I can get on the daily about efficiency and time+task management) I can definitely relate to some of the sentiments shared in this article.

That said, while this seems to be a widespread phenomenon, my experience isn't necessarily the same as yours: I'd be curious to hear others' thoughts, ideas and insights on this topic.

Those questions are open to anyone from the general TWS audience who may find this topic either timely or relevant, by all means feel free to chime in!

But I'm especially encouraging any of my fellow "productivity pr0n" enthusiasts who employ all sorts of methodologies and techniques like daily Pomodoro cycles and weekly Agile sprints or GTD project-plans for the month plus quarterly reviews etc etc in their jobs and/or life to keep themselves focused, effective and highly performant individuals:

• What's your work-life balance like? or is it actually a myth to pretend that there is any such a line of separation between the rat-race and your need or drive to hustle?
• In retrospect, has your mental-health and well-being suffered for constantly being under this state of daily+weekly+monthly+quarterly performance-pressure? Also is your sense of self-worth somehow tied to your net-worth (or some other metric of measurement indicative of how much value you output)?

Again, it's open to all, but I'm hoping to find others like me on here who perhaps owns a bunch of books dedicated to productivity and/or has a dedicated RSS feed for productivity blogs and/or has a Read It Later section tagged with productivity articles and/or has a notbook full of book and article highlights as well as personal scribbles on how to be more productive and/or listens to podcasts on productivity and/or is in a Discord or Slack community centered on productivity and/or have taken courses on productivity and/or have started their own accountability group to encourage my fellow peers and underclassmen with weekly coaching on productivity... as if I somehow knew more than them lmaoooo I'm just caught up in this craze that's it, point, blank, period.

If I'm the only freak who got this hooked on phonics productivity and all the meta-strategies one could take towards that end -- feel free to ignore those last few questions. But... I have the sneaking suspicion that some of y'all got bit by this bug too. Perhaps not as bad as me lol but I'm willing to bet that some of y'all have books/blogs/whatever on the topic bookmarked in the name of self-betterment -- when, potentially, there's an element of self-sacrifice at play here "but it's in the name of productivity and producing profits so don't question the American capitalistic worker-drone dream" ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

@The-Mods no need to "feel" or "smell" that I don't lol, I say as much. A number of different times, actually.

So yes, assuming you can trust that I'm telling the truth, you actually do know I don't feel regret nor pride for my actions -- whether that's something y'all would consider "selfless and virtuous" like volunteering at a homeless shelter (which I've done) or "selfish and scheming" like shilling someone out of their inheritance (my answer to this question)

I act in accordance with who I am, through and through. I am not remorseful, nor am I prideful, I simply act as I am compelled to and I stay true to my nature whether that act is deemed to be "evil" or "benevolent" by others.

Also... why'd I get a downvote? 😅

Lol I was only answering your question truthfully and honestly! 😤

Are you punishing me for doing exactly what you asked of us? 🤔

• And besides, all this sudden activity and visibility on your topic/question is precisely because of that first post I wrote 📈
• There were 0 replies for the first 24 hours straight and then as soon as my reply goes live *boom* 5 or 6 posts back to back and a corresponding uptick in views 👀
• So... y'all are gonna try to bury my inconvenient and/or unpalatable answer (which was the cause for this traffic) now that this topic has finally gained some traction? 😭

*gasps in feigned revulsion* that is "the most evil thing" you could do 👿

Don't hate on me if you don't like the answer to this sort of a question 🤣

Perhaps you shouldn't have asked a question about the most extreme degrees of "evil" a person's actions can possibly take 🙊 if you simultaneously have a 🙈 "see no evil, hear no evil"🙉 policy as well?

Seems kindof counterproductive considering the sort of answers you know you're gonna invariably get (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

I manipulated an emotionally vulnerable girl out of a sizable portion of what was meant to be her inheritance.

I knew the weeks following the death of her only surviving parent would be tremendously difficult for her to cope with.

1. Especially since I already knew she had unresolved daddy issues which she used to vocally whine about from time to time prior to that point.
2. I also knew that in contrast to the father she never got to know since he walked out on her family soon after she was born, she considered her single mother a saint for raising her -- as well as her judgemental step-siblings who were always hard on her...

...it was the perfect storm. An emotional mine-field she was ill-prepared to navigate at the time... and I knew that if I just made myself available to her, I'd be seen as an indispensable godsend, unquestionably virtuous despite any ill intentions and ulterior motives I might harbor against her. And so, sure enough, when I saw her so distraught... I decided to take advantage.

Did I comfort her? Sure... in fact, I made sure to do her on the very same day that she got the news, before she left our college campus to return to her hometown and make funeral arrangements with her step-family.

Ok, I'll stop revealing how disgustingly opportunistic I was.

So anyway, did I console her WITH WORDS rather than making her feel physically wanted? Sure... except, everything I said was designed and calculated to benefit me in the long run, none of those words she wanted to hear were uttered because I actually truly cared about her one bit, I simply saw her as a giant payday. So I milked her melancholy out with my feigned sympathies for all it was worth, knowing that once I got what I wanted out of her I'd discard her without a second thought.

Ok, I'll stop disgusting you with how sordid my scheming was.

Oh, wait, did I say that I fk'd her within an hour of her getting the phone call informing her of her mother's death? I forgot to mention another example of how incredibly punctual I can be: I did her again a week later... right after the memorial service.

Oh gosh, why the bloody hell am I confessing to how creepy and contrived my machinations can be?!?!

Anyway, I'll stop with the specifics and more generically say "in the weeks that followed the funeral she continued to rely on me for physical comfort as well as an emotional crutch during this time fraught with instability" but I just needed to highlight those key moments and how I (in realtime, mind you, i.e. I'm just hearing this news too. And yet somehow, simultaneously, deep inside my mind I discovered... a reptilian side. Some certain specific sociopathic switch in my brain that got flipped before I even realized I was capable of such urges, ambitions, plots and contrivances... but as soon as I became aware it was possible to pull this plan off, I wholeheartedly committed to that vile evil path) I instinctively knew exactly when where and how I would need to make myself available as an ever-present shoulder for her to cry on whenever she had an emotional upheaval, or the ever-present [REDACTED CUZ NSFW] whenever she needed it, wanted it, or really just whenever I saw she was suddenly feeling down and depressed and let her physical guard down in her state of emotional vulnerability, I decided that this was the ideally ripe moment to let this pathetically pitiable girl who had been single all her life to experience her first "romantic" relationship ever (even though there was no real romance involved from my end) as well as the first person who stole her virginity and gave her repeated sexual experiences at every opportunity that her emotional roller-coaster afforded me to which she would eventually come to associate with / label as "making love" (even though, once again, there was no love involved. I was just going through the motions. I was doing her. Like a thing. Like a chore. I was working her up for the express purpose of letting her imprint upon me, so that she'd be more susceptible to grand gestures of love in turn to repay me for being such a "selfless, caring, loving" partner to her)

To put a cherry on top of this terrifying tale of moral decay and ethical degeneracy... her mother wasn't even that wealthy, so the chunk I took out of her inheritance actually amounted to a pretty significant percentage overall. But since she was a broke college student who never needed or knew how to manage a sudden influx of money (plus, she had fallen head over heels for me) I managed to rinse a couple of brand new Macs out of her (one of which I would go on to "gift" to my little sister, lmao, pretending to be an altruistic and generous sort of older sibling when in reality I stole from someone else to then pass it off to my little sis as MY own virtue and selflessness, smh I'm deffo going to hell hahaha) an iPad, several other accessories and products from the Apple store but those 3 easily amounted to ~3K (with all the other Apple Store products she purchased for me, I'd say that number is probably closer to 3.5 thou). She paid for my rent for a quarter of that year, 3 months fully paid and not a single cent contributed by me and for the fourth month that she finally helped me with rent we split that one 50/50 so altogether that's another ~2.8 K or so. Let's go ahead and round that up to a nice even 3K. So in total I've swindled her out of 6.5+ thousand at this point, for no other reason than I could make her feel warm and fuzzy when she was feeling depressed plus I could get her hot and bothered too and she attributed all this manipulation to me being her "one true love". Oh and that's not to mention all of the smaller expenses like free food and travel when we went on "dates" (they were such a pain sometimes tbh, she was started to get super clingy at this point... but hey, free sht! lmao) I'm not even gonna bother to hazard a guess as I honestly have no earthly clue how much that added up to but given that we were "together" for just over half a year I imagine it was a hefty chunk of change. 2K? Maybe more? I've no frame of reference, I just know I got to wine and dine her a ton before she would put out for me, and it was all done at her expense.

Oh and here's the kicker, when her inheritance money started drying up and she eventually started budgeting expenses etc she didn't want to eat out as much anymore, but she still insisted on eating together and spending time etc and before I knew it she started grocery shopping and basically restocked the entire pantry with ingredients. I still didn't know she'd done this and I was gonna break up with her that day cuz the money wasn't flowing my way as often as I wanted anymore so I just thought well eff it this was the end of the ride, right? But then she showed me all this lmao and at first I was still just gonna go "wow so nice btw we're over gtfo mmkaythnxbyyyeeeeee" but when she insisted on coming over to cook me meals at least 3 or more times per-week I suddenly held my tongue cuz -- once again -- the master manipulator within me saw this as one more of those key opportunistic moments... and oh boy did I capitalize tf out of it. I hit her with a "...bae, yaknow what would go great with dinner at home that would make our nights together an infinitely better and unforgettable new experience?" one thing led to another, and voila, she's paying me money to buy drugs. Like, as a compliment to the food. Like a "doesn't this pair well with that" sorta thing lmao. Sure I tried to sell it as "it'll be more intimate than a public outing date, trust me boo we'll fall deeper in love than ever before if you do this for -er - I mean with me" but I don't think even she bought that logic lmao But even though she'd never smoked before, she saw that I wanted to "share" this with her and she trusted me, so she caved in. It didn't last very long lol, this was towards the end of our "I'm using you-ship" but still, I wanna say I got free weed-money from her every week, sometimes even multiple times per-week, for like... the last.. 1.5? Maybe even the last 2 months straight, idk that period of time is a bit of a hazy memory for obvious reasons lol. And especially that last month, it wasn't a weekly thing anymore. Plus that was the month she got stingy on me and didn't want to cough up the total rent money despite everything I did for her ungrateful ass. Eh, but watevs, it was still a fun ride while it lasted. I know this is gonna sound like a prn script lol but seriously it's based on real events I actually lived through so just imagine it: wrapping up classes and instead of heading home swinging by to pick up a little green something from your plug. I open the door to the scents of a warm, delicious, fresh home-cooked meal made with love from a person I see as more of a chef or a maid but who is too clueless to know any better. I plop down on the couch (I used to sit at the table for her to serve me, but we soon dropped this tradition of formality and migrated to the couch for 2 reasons: the TV kept me distracted from the annoying parts of the convo plus the couch allowed her to comfortably... well.. keep reading;) and put on some pirated movie she or I wanted to watch while I loaded up the bong. She'd bring out the plates and drinks and we'd eat, smoke and cuddle as we watched. And then, pretty soon after the weed was in her system she'd loser a lot of her inhibitions and, like clockwork, she'd become this insatiably aroused succubus intent on sucking my soul out of my [REDACTED]. Just... just take that in, lol. I'm not tryina be disgusting, I'm just highlighting how I'm living like a king and not paying a single cent for any of it. I'm eating eating free food (and not only free, but custom catered to my tastes as she learns the recipies for my favorite dishes) but also just cuz I've got the munchies from all the bong-rips (the bong was also paid-for by her btw, forgot to mention that lmao) I'm taking in between. Smoking free weed that I was paid to procure for this very moment of enjoying quality entertainment onscreen that I also stole rather than paid for oh and I'm getting head from a dumb naive girl who insists on taking "cummercial breaks" as she calls them (which makes no goddamn sense since this isn't live TV or even something streamed from the internet, but hey, I thought it was kinda cute but also nutty... pun intended) and just omg wtf bbq that last 1 or 1.5 month period was an absolute heavenly experience of just rinsing and repeating this same scene in infinite variations. I convinced her to cook for me 4 nights a week too. And in the beginning we didn't fk, but then I never saw a reason to let her sleep over at my place if she wasn't gonna put out either, so idk whether she caught onto that or it was simply a more subconscious decision cuz she became more susceptible to suggestion as she slowly but surely became a pothead but somewhere in the beginning or middle of that second week of this routine it gradually became just a guaranteed given that she'd obediently lift her skirt for me at the end of our meal and movie (sometimes even before finishing the movie lol) and so I'd allow her stay the night with me as we went at it for hours on end into the night.

But all good things come to an end, I suppose. If that 1.5 month period was an unexpected but incredible highlight, the last month long period where we were still "officially together" was a downward spiral. I still got free meals, free weed, and she still spread her legs, but it was happening less often and there was so much animosity in the air in the interim that she kinda killed my vibe even when we were highfk'ing. It was starting to feel like a chore again. I didn't mind that at the beginning, as distasteful as I found her as a person, I looked at it as a job I was working -- and the job was to work her into feeling indebted to me. But now this bish was a crazy clingy "gf". The money was drying up too, so she got more stingy about giving me free sht. Idk, at a certain point it just no longer seemed worth it. So I pulled the ripcord.

It's not a stretch, given her fragile personality and volatile temperament, to assume that she was probably devastated... but I honestly have no clue since I gave her the cold shoulder right after I dumped her. She probably felt discarded like a piece of trash. She probably felt used. Manipulated. And all of that is true. I saw her as a feebleminded girl before the tragic news of her mother's death, and as soon as that happened (I swear this part wasn't premeditated, it caught me just as much by surprise as it probably shocked you to read it, but it's true) some part of my mind realized I could exploit this weakness of hers and -- in an instant -- I decided to go through with it. And I just kept thinking on my feet, kept scheming, and -- surprisingly -- I just kept sticking the landing each time.

• From the moment I first caught up to her while she was a gross sobbing mess packing her bags and.... "comforted" her knowing she was already an impressionable girl and in that moment in a particularly vulnerable state, I knew I had my hooks in her.
• A week later, right after the memorial for her dead mother, I cumforted her again.
• And again, and again, in the weeks and months that followed till she grew dependent on me in body, mind and at heart.
• After that first month (i.e. about ~2 weeks after the funeral) it stopped feeling like a chore. Sure, she was still my mark and I was working her nonstop, but it honestly felt like I was on auto-pilot just responding with the words she wanted to hear or the gestures she needed to see -- I never felt bad about what I was doing to her, but at this point it didn't even feel like that much effort either.
• A month or two after that, i.e. a little under halfway through the lifecycle of our relationship, she was more often happy to be with me than she had manic depressive mood swings, and at that point I was outright enjoying myself. I never felt bad for what I did to her, and during this period I was get so much puss and tech and cuisine and I got to travel (no gas money either lmao) and just omg such a rich and lavish lifestyle, while I spent the absolute minimal pennies on the dollar.
• When that money stopped rolling in I almost prematurely cut her loose, but surprise surprise, I got one more month of near constant gratuitous servitude and sensual ecstasy out of her. It wasn't riches in the sense of financial gain, but I felt like an absolute fkin king not even gonna lie.
• And then... that last month or so? Yyyeeaahh, it was back to being. a chore trying to maintain her emotional stability while she went all crazy psycho suspicious of my motives and everything that, quite frankly, a few of the times we were doing it I was hatefking her. It got quite toxic, for the both of us.

I think the reason I didn't feel too bad for lying and manipulating her heart and body for my needs was she got some much needed stability and a seemingly selfless bf out of it. That's a victimless crime, right?

I mean, I stole something like ≤ 10K from her purse, but like, she was HAPPY to dote on me right?

FYI I honestly can't be sure about that 10K figure. Around ~$8K-ish, for sure - possibly more, but I can't be certain beyond that.
It's not like I was aiming for a specific number as a target, I was just focused on keeping her physically hooked and emotionally dependent upon me for as long as I could get her to spit out money. And she was damn easy to fool too, I just had to repeatedly reassure her that she's "my girl" and that I'm "proud of you" to reinforce whatever behavior that I wanted and like a bish in heat she'd happily comply. She was so needy, afraid of "not belonging" / "being alone again" after finally experiencing what it's like to have a "bf" who "loved" her that she was willing to do whatever to took to keep me around and make sure I was happy with her, no matter the cost... even if it meant there was a literal cold-hard-cash cost conditional to my feigned affections for her

Even when she didn't have much more money to offer me as repayment for all that hard work I put into being the ideal bf she needed, I still let her feel useful to me in other capacities cuz it's what made her happy (and, incidentally, brought me a literal fkton of pleasure too on soooo many different levels lmaoo).

Sure, I'm an asshole for making her feel indebted and that she had to pay me back for all my many different "kindnesses" which were nothing more than calculated and tactical decisions of feigned friendship or passion, but she never once felt like the victim, she wasn't hurt, she was happy.

But that last month... without any more free gifts, much slower and stingier cash dispenses for expenses, and more than anything just the paranoid conspiracy theories she'd pull outta her ass about what I'm doing to her - even if she was still regularly bending over for me it just didn't feel right anymore. It wasn't pleasurable, even though she kept trying to please me, all the sht I had to deal with in between made what was supposed to be the dessert to my free meals feel laborious. She was a chore I had to deal with, once more.

Actually, not even "once more" because there was a clear reward coming I could focus on when I worked her up for me at the start. Now, she's just wound up for no real reason (well, except for the obvious reason that her suspicions are spot on and she's right to be wary of me no reason at all, she's just a crazy bish) and expending all this energy just to soothe and unwind her felt less and less worthwhile.

So, one day, just as instantly as I decided to go through with this sociopathic stratagem, I just decided to stop being her emotional crutch... a support system I knew she already sorely needed, and perhaps even more so after I just tornado'ed my way right tf through her life cleaning her out financially and using her up physically for everything she's worth. But I never checked in on her after that, so idk if she became a self-sufficient and independent woman or if she found some other poor guy to replace me in dealing with her near-constant whining and insecurities.

So... that's my confession. Lol. I probably should've just said that first para which sounded bad enough and left the details to your imagination, but... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never come clean about this to anyone before so I figured why the hell not.

For the record, I know what I did was wrong. I just... I can't explain it any better than there was a moment of sudden and pure ideation (I wouldn't even classify it as stereotypical "evil genius" lmao it just... sorta happened) and then, just as quickly, I decided to commit. At no point did I feel bad about it. I still don't feel bad about it, which is strange to say since I expected some sort of cathartic... idk, something, when I wrote all this up. But nope. I saw her as a weak sort of woman even before this transpired. And what led me to inject myself into her life was... idk, but it wasn't an emotional or "evil" impetus. Idk how to explain it really. I saw a critical 0-day vulnerability and decided to exploit that, and in order to do that the timing of my attack had to be immediate, calculated and crucial. A + B = C it's as simple as that. What's more, this decision and action all happened in realtime. I found out the news, I compiled everything I knew about her character in my head, in an instant. I decided to drop by her dorm room before she had a chance to leave town and drown surrounded by family's sorrows by clinically, in a carefully contrived manner, offering to fulfill all her needs instead.

It's an admittedly despicable tactic, especially since I did it primarily for monetary gain (and at a certain point, I just kept continuing it for the physical benefits she afforded me by way of food and drugs and sex. No lavish lifestyle or expensive gifts anymore, but I still kept her hooked and kept the con going, just cuz... how could I stop when she made it so damned easy to wring out every single thing I possibly could out of her?!?) but I DIDN'T FEEL BAD and I STILL DO NOT FEEL BAD.

I don't believe in heaven or hell, but if there does turn out to be an afterlife, I know there'll be a special circle of hell dedicated for assholes like me.

Or if I'm reincarnated, it'll likely be as a dung beetle.

If karma is a thing, I'll probably end up marrying a gold digger or something, and if that happens I'd say I definitely deserve it and some sort of cosmic scale of justice was finally righted. Fine

But... I just don't feel "evil" lmao. Intellectually, I know how f'ed up it was. But spiritually? I don't believe in that sort of thing. Emotionally? The worst I ever felt was frustration or irritation sometimes at how much maintenance her emotional needs required, I never actually felt I was a toxic influence on her and in fact when she started to suspect me of not truly caring about her I felt that SHE actually made this perfectly pleasant give-and-take dynamic of our "relationship" turn into something truly unpleasant and toxic with no clear benefits for either side.

Idk. I just know that I'm capable of this. I've never done anything like that before her, nor after, but not because the idea sounded abhorrent to me before nor because I found myself horrified by what I'd done after. I just never ever even thought along those lines before that unique opportunity, and when I did, it was perfectly in-line with my personality to try it just to see if I could pull it off. And... yeah, I guess I do know from experience now that I'm capable of something like this. But I've never felt the urge or impulse to do so again.

This isn't the only time I've been manipulative in a relationship, but it is certainly the "worst" as you normal humans might classify it. Likewise, I've cheated people out of money before, heck I've even done it (repeatedly) to my immediate family. I don't really feel guilt over it. I don't think I'm a sociopath, but I can't exactly pretend I don't have sociopathic tendencies. I'm generally an empowering sort of individual, but these are historical data points that clearly demonstrate I can rob someone of their emotional ability to be independent as well as steal their chance at financial independence. Heck, this very account that I made about 5 years ago was created for the express purpose of catfishing and toying with people, just for shts and giggles - though after registering it, I became a suddenly opted to become a silent observer rather than a wolf in sheep's clothing. On the other hand, once I finally became active on here about a month ago I've done nothing but be completely transparent about my perspectives and encourage others wherever I thought I could. I can't exactly predict or explain why I do the things I do, I just know that whenever I decide to go through with something I don't feel any regret/remorse nor pride/delight in doing so. It's just... so unequivocally "me" (even if I'd never considered that path prior to that point, as was the case of this story writ above) that I decide to follow through with it - whether that's 5 years of not catfishing y'all, a literal decade of not opting nor caring to be in a relationship with anyone cuz I got bored of the mind games, or the many different manipulative plays I made in all my relationships prior (including this incredibly lucrative 6+ month sprint I just shared), or even the genuine attempts at care and connection I made before that. I seem to oscillate between "good" to "evil" and sometimes even just "amoral" but in those moments, it feels like the most sane decision to adhere to.

I'm definitely not a saint, nor can you just oversimplify me to be a sinner as both "saint" and "sinner" are too reductionist in lieu of the truth: I am a bit of both (as, perhaps, are we all). Right now, in this moment, I'm clearly being an absolute tool... but transparently so. Is there value in being a transparent tool? I'm not sure. But it seemed like as good a time as any to come clean, so I just went with it, whatever judgements come my way ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Toh-may-tow vs Toh-mah-toe

Sure, but it's also fair to say "everything fades in..." too

And we can play this sort of semantic game with anything really.

• "We lose focus" vs "we gain perspective"
• "The final end" vs "the new beginning"
• Light can't exist without darkness
• Nor can good in a vacuum without evil

If you'll pardon me shamelessly stealing a quote from an anime villain, just because I find it quite poignant:

"And what is so good about being "good" anyway? It is the selfish desire to maintain peace imposed by pacifist do-gooders that breeds dissent, and then violence, and inevitable wars -- and thus, "hate" is born to protect "love" once more. This is the nature of our reality"

So you see, as @justB already pointed out, you can always find a way to look at the glass as half-empty ot half-full - it just depends on your disposition, really.

A necessary compromise

Given this curiously dichotomous nature that permeates and perpetuates virtually every aspect of our lived experiences, I think it's far more accurate to be a realist and observe the fact that "everything changes" rather than falling prey to the pessimistic perspective ("everything fades out / glass half empty") or trying to continually maintain the optimistic alternative ("everything fades in / glass half full)

Because, when taking a holistic view of this peculiar state of affairs (i.e. when not showing bias or partiality on way or the other) this is what really resonates the truest - or at least, it seems to be the most sane position to hold to someone like me.

My own personal take rambles

If you take a peek at my profile, you'll notice that on the "favorite quote" section I wrote

"πάντα ῥεῖ ☯️ vis-à-vis ♊️ fēlīx culpa"

This is actually a mixture of 3 separate phrases, as well as an amalgamation of 3 distict languages.

1. The first portion, in Greek, is transliterated as "panta rhei" which translates to "all flows" or "everything goes"
2. The second segment, in French, means "through" or "via" or "face-to-face with" or "in corresponding counterpoint to"
3. The third part, in Latin, literally means something like "the happy flaw" or "the blessed fault" but it has a deeper theological connotation to it. Our flaws, of course, cause us to fall from grace and fail. But we must also be sure to credit this same fatal fault for always searching, seeking, striving, for another way out, a better solution, to make amends, to redeem ourselves somehow, no matter how hopeless the case.

Or if you prefer Hebrew, we have the Yetzer Ha-Rav just as we have the Yetzer Ha-Tov (the inclination to do evil and the impulse to do good, respectively) but the most interesting point to take note here is that Adam didn't have the preference towards either when he was still just adamah i.e. a creature formed from earth or clay. It was only when God filled his nostrils with ruach (which, yes, means "the breath of life"... but more importantly, it also alludes to a "divine wind", or even a "holy spirit") that he was transformed into a living being... and, somewhere in the far recesses of his mind, now held the potential to stray. In other words, the propensity for mischief, as well as virtue and honor, is inherent in our soul, our spirit, our very essence. It is our God-given birthright and lifelong inheritance. It is who we are, through and through: wanderers wondering why we are so wayward.

Sorry, I got stuck on the 3rd point for a while there lol. Anyway, taking all 3 together, what the heck is it that I'm trying to say exactly?

Well... It all changes. Everything flows. Nothing lasts. Not your parents, nor your children. Not the people you love, nor those you harbor hate towards. It all emerges from, and dissipates back into, the endlessly flowing river of time.

And hand in hand with this realization we eventually have to come to terms with the fact that we're not exactly an innocent and innocuous passive observer to it all. We're right in the thick of it and our choices impact how rich or how poor those experiences can be.

So accept yourself, even when you change and grow, because at your core you are still you. Be present in the moment, however magnificent the mistake or however horrifying the triumph, whether you classify the glass as half full or half empty, you drink in the moment and savor the bittersweet memory for what it is. Because "this too, shall pass"

Or as @justB put it far more aptly, _"Memento mori" i.e. "be mindful of death". Why do you think the likes of Shakespeare had a skull by his writing desk? Trust us, it's not nearly as depressing as the advice may sound lol. Indeed, it's actually an incredibly rich fertilizing agent for the mind, to remind yourself of how precious and fleeting the mortal coil is. It drove his creativity, it drives my own urge to eke out every last ounce of experience in my own life, and I'm willing to bet you'll have a newfound appreciation for these "fading" moments you're still alive to be a part of too.

A toast to the the tomatoes of tomorrow!

And hey, do you know what this also means? Even if your parents, your friends, your lover, your very life "fades out..." guess what... another set of eyes are gonna open. A new life will begin, soon/long after your life ends.

And just as you didn't seem to experience anything except stillness and silence prior to you opening your own eyes and everything "faded in / began" so will it be for them. The universe of mindfulness you're experiencing right now is exactly the way it will feel behind their eyelids.

And, sure, perhaps eventually they will also get on this pessimistic bandwagon of wondering why it's all gotta "fade out" and "end" ...at which point, I imagine, another stranger like me will say the same thing to them that I'm telling you :P

Nah @Dirty-Dimond I kinda get what @The-Mods were driving at. It only sounds weird if you're not familiar with teachings and philosophies borne out of Dharmic traditions such as Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, etc.

It would be like how if someone from one of the Abrahamic religions like Judaism or Christianity or Islam commented on here and suggested that since the capital G deity embodies perfect love, every expression of human love is a reflection of that. But the desires of the flesh "at first sight" can't compare to the sacred and holy covenant that a marriage represents. Love is patient, love is kind, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it is not proud, etc etc and whatever other attributes that gets listed out in that scripture - I can't recall it all from memory, but you get the general idea.

If you don't come from the same background as they do, then from the outside looking in, it'll sound strange. Framing any and every instance of love with respect to an almighty and all-knowing entity who created you before you were born and knows before you die whether your afterlife will be ecstatic bliss for forever or eternal torment and torture. Couching "love" in between all that baggage sounds super weird for someone who doesn't buy into all of the theology that surrounds it.

Similarly, according to various eastern religions, every single person is actually the exact same being "behind the scenes" it's just that we all forget that we're all individual expressions of the deity. Effectively, we're all wearing theatrical masks and fully immersed in the role of (insert your name here) as we play out the drama of life.

Couched within that surrounding context, they wrote that "to feel needed", "to fill their need", and "even sex as a natural act" are all various goals of love (explored and expressed and achieved on "the stage that is our lives" so to speak). And since we're all the same entity underneath (again, the idea here is that "we" have fully forgotten that we're divine so that "it" may become fully immersed in the thrill of the drama being played out without being spoiled by knowing how the ending will play out beforehand etc) every form of selfless love is actually "capital S" Self-love.

Lmao the funny thing is you said that whole schpeel just boiled down to their opinion and the only part you didn't find weird was the sentiment they shared at the very end... but that was the one part which they clearly said is driven by their personal opinion and for the sake of their own ego rather than any of these lofty ideals and theological philosophies of love ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Essentially, what they were conveying at the end there was something along the lines of "I prefer to be among the audience watching you all falling head over heels for each other rather than actually getting involved with any one of you. I'm not a loving participant, I'm an outside observer. I consider it an honor to write ratings and reviews about your onstage performance while I detach myself from the drama and take it all in from afar."

@Dirty-Dimond someone on here called me a cynic the other day lol so just to be crystal clear, that gif was just posted as a joke.

That said, I do think it's true enough, because we tend to overly romanticize the idea of "love at first sight" when whatever role it is that your hormonal drives, your aesthetic preferences, etc play in that initial impression you get from a prospective partner - it doesn't last forever, it's just that, an impression (a momentary, skin-deep and superficial impression at that).

But can that first impression give you an intuition as to whether you'd like to pursue him or her? Sure.

• And if you do decide to go in that direction,
  • can we not also consider all of the time you invest and energies you expend for the sake of that relationship to be a form of love too?
• Does "fall in love" refer to a singular momentous event?
  • Or are you continually falling as you gain a deeper understanding of that person, both their virtues and their vices, their flaws and their graces?
• Are not the actions that you take to make him or her
  • cry with laughter,
  • or feel comforted when they cry,
  • to be a calming touchstone of stability when they lose composure in anger or frustration,
  • to be source of encouragement and inspiration for them to strive and thrive in life,
• also expressions of love?
  • Is love not an ongoing process, a verb you continue to engage in inasmuch as it started out as a noun you felt some type of way about when you first saw them?

And, quite frankly, part of that "deeper understanding" and "love in action" also entails sometimes letting go of that person.

• Again, the idea of "together forever" is often romanticized,
  • but what if after years together this person is no longer happy (whatever the reason may be)?
  • Even a bird in a cage gilded with gold will eventually become a bird without song.
• So do you cling onto them with a deathgrip for fear of losing that noun which you love?
  • Or can we consider it a form of love if, for the sake of their well-being, you let them feel free enough to explore and express their lovesong once more... as they fly out of sight and sound from you?
• And, in the absence of him/her, is this sudden aching pain of overwhelming loneliness welling up deep inside your chest cavity as your heart gets stuck in your throat and a sinking pit forms in your stomach... is that not symptomatic of that same love too?
  • The noun you loved is no longer here, so you can't express verbs of love any longer and all the time and energy doing so seems wasted and for naught.
    • What you're left feeling isn't a new emotion like hate or rage. Perhaps despair or anguish, but seated in and borne out of lost love.
  • And it's not just an emotional feeling, you bodily react from time to time.
    • fluctuating imbalances in your brain
    • Tears.
    • Shortness of breath.
    • Hyperventilation.
    • Cold sweats.
    • Visible shakes.
    • Bodily convulsions as you curl up and cry once you're out of sight from judging eyes.
  • I mean... this is nothing short of psychological and physiological withdrawal symptoms,
    • very much akin to what we see when someone tries to wean themselves off of an addictive substance like heroin.

And yet, all of this is part and parcel of the package called love that many of us come to process at various points in our lives.

• So... is it a noun?
  • Or is it a verb?
• Is it a "on sight" person+place event?
  • Or an ongoing process of understanding in action?
• Is love nothing but pure joy, elation and ecstasy?
  • Or can those ecstatic expressions of physical and emotional intimacy somehow give way to the anguish of heartbreak?

The answer is "all of the above." Love is a fantastically frustrating and frustratingly fantastic phenomenon. The quirks and curious idiosyncrasies of their love for you and your love for them will make you both smile and laugh yourselves to tears. But your love will also eventually, inevitably, invariably lead to tears driven by your heart aching and breaking in painful longing for each other and loneliness when without one another.

TL;DR - love is a brilliantly chaotic and chaotically brilliant hot mess

Mate I'm pretty sure that entire last book of "Revelations" is supposed to be filled with one gigantic acid trip's worth of wonderfully weird visions that prophesy how the world is supposed to end

Although pretty much all variations of eschatological prophecies (regardless of the religion) seem to carry the same theme of doom and gloom:

• war,
• famine,
• crisis X,
• conundrum Y,
• horrific problem Z

... which, let's be honest, is about as generic as you can get.

And to the degree that they predict something different / not obvious (like the heptacorn chimera pictured above) it's really hard to see it as anything more than a hallucination passed off as clairvoyance 😵🔮🥠

If the specific and unique parts turn out to actually have predictive power (i.e. I see a 5-headed dragon flying out to sea to battle a creature that seems to be a hybrid lab-experiment of several different species spun into one) color me impressed. Till then, the generic "it'll be bad" sorta "prophecies" are sorta... meh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@Flewolf said in Will ww3 happen?:

It's the end of the world as we know it 🎼🎼

1 - It's spelled "close-mindedness"

But hey, we're not gonna call each other mindless for their mis/use of grammar, right? You'll just call people mindless right from the very first post, and continue your disses and dismissals of people rather than what they post, all the way through each of your posts until your very last post.

Congratulations @tempname420 this is the one and only aspect you've been consistent in. Keep trolling people when you pretend to answer them, invertebrate gremlin, keep trolling.

2 - You don't get to call me close-minded (any more than you're right to gaslight me as being undatable or when you pretended to telepathically know what's going on inside my mind or whatever the sht)

She made an argument: "it's better to X rather than Y because otherwise you're being closeminded" It was TOPICAL. It was RELEVANT. It wasn't a personal attack and I didn't take offense. And, when I responded making my case, I was being RELEVANT to the TOPIC.

Whenever you say these sorts of things though, you're explicitly trying to offend. I'm almost tempted to call it a red-herring tactic, except that would be giving you too much credit since you're not eve make an argument, you're just rattling off name-call non-sequitur after nonsensical non-sequitur. It's laughably easy to show how woefully, painfully, egregiously wrong you are when you try this sort of thing.

3 - I'm not gonna participate any further in the pissing context you're clearly trying to turn this into.

Either contribute something back to the topic of discussion, or

• STFU
• sit TF down
• and let others feel free to voice their thoughts in answer to the topic and topical discussion -- free from your transparently trollish bait-tactics of just dissing them rather than addressing anything they've said like you did to the OP + attempted (and failed) to do the same me.

hmm... 🤨

@tempname420 20 hours ago: "So much text, guess someone's been dumped recently."

Hmm... 🧐

ALSO @tempname420 6 hours ago: "The gradient of verbosity is not correlated..."

HMMM.... 🤔

Yeah, I'm not buying your wishy-washy BS. Pick a position and stick with it.

Or at least until you have been shown a more reasonable position to hold, at which point feel free to adjust your views accordingly (which, by the bloody way, has been the main thrust of my entire argument throughout this thread)

But this sort of "oh I'll say this, but then later I'll say that, which completely contradicts what I said before there, but now hopefully nobody will notice the discrepancy all the way over here" thoroughly flip-flopping fails to impress.

At this point in the conversation, I give more credit to the other person who @mentioned me in her reply than I do to you.

1. She fundamentally misunderstood me too (I was misrepresented as a "closeminded cynic") but at least I know exactly where she's arguing from and what line of argumentation I could present that might potentially persuade her otherwise.
2. She and I respectfully disagree with each other, whereas you seem to have absolutely no problem namecalling the OP as mindless and gossipping that I must've been dumped, just cuz, why would anybody ever want to date someone like me who dares voice their mind?
   • wait, so does that mean you prefer to date mindless drones? I'm confused, cuz your first comment was a diss on mindless people... oh well, I guess we'll just add this to the pile of your mounting inconsistencies ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"...neither the correctness of your statements nor the grammar. No need to feel attacked."

I agree. Would you care to disagree with any of the positions I've posited, perhaps?

Or do you only specialize in gaslighting the OP and then backpedal to pretend that your insults aren't actually meant as an attack on our person?

Perhaps the line I drew between fiction and fact is incorrect?

Maybe you think I'm wrong about the courtroom "default" of belief or disbelief and which side has the "onus" to make their case?

Come on! For once and say something, ANYTHING, that actually demonstrates a coherent position.

Cuz thus far, all you seem capable of doing is a sort of "meta running-commentary denigrating other people rather than addressing the content of what they're actually presenting".

If I well and truly argued for a position that is indeed wrongheaded or problematic -- pretty pretty please with a cherry "dumped" on top -- grow a spine and say something substantive and meaningful that actually contributes to the ongoing discussion surrounding the topic of conversation for once.

Because the validity (or lack thereof) of my arguments stand on their own merit -- it has absolutely nothing to do with grammar, nor does my verbosity suddenly make my points moot; now, care to share where my position on the topic was unreasonable to hold?

Oh and quit with all this posturing while you're at it (I'm tempted to say you'll soon need lumbar support if you continue like this, but once again, you've successfully shown a complete and utter lack of spine so far)

"If you did miss my point, your late presence seems to be a cry for help - you recently came back,..."

1 - Someone replied to me. I was responding. Cause. Effect. Funny how that works out, huh?

2 - Is this your proof of mind-reading? Do you somehow know my own thoughts better than I myself do?

I mean, someone addressed me, and then I responded to them point-by-point... but here you are now, miraculously telling me that the actual content of my response was actually irrelevant (← everyone take note of this, cuz we're gonna highlight another fun example of "double-standard" later on) and that "really" what I "secretly" and "actually" in my "heart-of-hearts" was trying to do was cry out to @tempname420 for help cuz I couldn't find a date.

Damn... you know what? You might be right! Thank you so much for helping me to come to terms with the error of my ways, I see the light now! It's a bloody miracle! Telepathy truly exists!!!

Oh wait, what the hell am I saying, that's a total and utter steaming hot pile of flaming garbage. If someone literally talked about the burden of proof, and I talk about the burden of proof, they don't need help but I do? Get the flying f**k outta here with your speculative non-sequitur BS.

"...invested so much time in wording essays..."

"Verbosity is not correlated" my foot 🤣 But hey, thanks for "dumping" that double standard right on my lap lmao, you gave me this sacred honor of shining a spotlight on your hypocritical nonsense. I swear to whatever deities that be, you are the most inconsistent spineless flip-flopper I've ever met.

"...on rather irrelevant topics."

Bish, I've been more on-topic than you.

In fact, I hadn't strayed off of the topic UNTIL I responded to you, PRECISELY because you never actually address the topic - you just prefer to fingerpaint others in dismissive and denigrating stereotypes.

All you've done so far is label the original poster as mindless, did a convenient handwave dismissal of me as a dumpee, them postured your non-existent back some more to turn that into a "I'm not attacking y'all. Let's just hug it out. oh btw, you talk too much. Shut up......... jaykaaaayyyyy wait hold up a sec let me use my psychic skills to wipe your memory when I said 'so much text' and 'verbosity' and 'wording essays' cuz I don't discriminate on opinionated people, trust me I'm dating someone who has a mouth. ANYWHOOZLES irrelevant tangent ok no but really tho my telepathy superpowers tells me you're crying on the inside cuz you're afraid you'll die alone, dumped on your deathbed cuz you 'talk all the time' don't look at me like that I'm still not hating on you cuz those aren't my words I'm a psychic telepath remember I got that from peeking inside your brain noodle, I know you better than you know yourself - despite whatever thoughts you penned down, I'm allowed to tell you what you 'really/actually/truly' think" ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

How in the name of all things sane does any of your gaslighting count as relevant to this topic?

I outlined telepathy in fiction vs what it would take to be considered factually true.

The post also mentioned black-magic, and again, I pointed out the same distinction regarding demonstrability.

No longer directly addressing the post point-by-point, (but still thematically relevant) I spoke briefly about when belief is justified, regardless of what the claim is (i.e. no longer talking about telepathy or black magic, as I gave the example of something else extraordinary like dragons and even something exceedingly ordinary like dogs - but it's not off-topic as the same principle applies in each instance). Accepting a claim based on the evidence for it is the most prudent approach.

I saw you calling them mindless when I wrote all that by the way, but I didn't go off topic to reprimand you. I stayed on topic.

Someone else commented after me mentioning spellcasting and how their belief isn't based on evidence so much as it is amusing and perhaps even a little fear-driven. I have thoughts on the psychological drives behind their belief, but I don't respond, as it wasn't directed at me. Still 100% on topic thus far by the way.

Someone replies directly to me. They bring up the subjects of cynicism, shaman magic, the burden of proof, what it means to be open-minded, and question my stance on what the default position should be. I respond to all of that and not a letter more. Still wondering how I got off topic by the way?

Someone else answers the post, positing not only telepathy by telekinesis and throw in the term "quantum" to justify how these things are possible at various "micro vs macro" perspective. I consider this is such a loosey-goosey, quintessential "Deepak Chopra answer" but I bite my tongue. Because he has shared his opinion, directly addressing the topic. Just as I addressed the topic by pointing out an evidence-based approach is of paramount importance and should take precedence over people's claims - no matter how confidently they say it. Since both answers (which are on the topic) are already out there, I keep my disagreements with the individual to myself and didn't pollute the thread with unnecessary cross-talk. Again, 10000% on topic, despite your insinuations otherwise.

Now you come along and, just like with your first post, decide to diminish the person rather than address anything that I actually said directly. FINA-FRIGGIN-LY I go off-topic. Why? Because of you. And you've BEEN off topic since your very first reply

Well, okay, admittedly it could be inferred that your first answer was meant to be convey something along the lines of "no I don't think telepathy exists" but we have to read between the lines to get there because rather than saying that you chose to attack the individual instead. So, no, I'm not gonna give you credit for this. And you've stayed true to form since, belittling me simply for speaking my mind.

Now tell me, almighty mind-reader, who here derailed us off-topic?

Even the people I disagree with were answering the question. Meanwhile YOU just seem to prefer to putting people down rather than address them or the topic of their discussion.

But hey, thanks for projecting your double-standard on me.

Oh, and you might want to consider that talking all the time makes you unable to hear the rest.

Every single time I've spoken has been in response, I didn't cross-pollinate like you do, I respected everyone else's right to voice their own opinion just as I shouldn't be put down for being vocal about mine.

Oh sure, you can opine that I must just be lonely and crying for attention if you like. But guess what? This is a public forum! So I can and will defend myself against such serpentine slithering from a spineless worm.

u rite. y tok lot wen smol wurd do trik? me dumb.

n me dumped 2. thos dots conekt fasho, becuz, #correlashun wow u so smort!

o nd me didn' ask for evi...dance? sry, me no gud @ big wurd. NEway jus dnt read tht prt k? k! me close mine dead. me no change.

me dumb. me dumped. u all rite, no Qs ask'd frm silly dumb dumb dumped me.

butt me OPEN WIDE now "aaaah" see?

feed me plz? feed mee! ah bee leave it all oh toe mat tick lee 😵‍💫