Please bear with me till end. I know i wrote a bit much.
I have a very very close friend who was my roommate for a very long period in collage and also uni. We have been best friends since high school so we are technically like sisters.
I have felt through all these years that she doesn't really care about me as much as I do for her. I am like a mother to her really. I have cared for her like she is a member of my own family.
But she...well let me start from this. Whenever she has a member of her family around, she totally forgets about me. She doesn't care if i am good, bad, stressed or anything. Whenever she goes to her home with her parents, she doesn't text me to even know if i am alive or not and when i tell her why you don't text me, she responds that you don't understand about being with family.
The other time I had an allergy shock and I couldn't even stand on my feet. She saw my state but didn't take it seriously and went out with her friends. When she got home i was feeling so bad and i needed a drug from pharmacy but she sat and started studying. I didn't ask her to go out and get it for me because I believe if she truly cared she would have done it without my request (like what i always do for her). I went out with so much pain praying to God to help me himself.
There are lots of examples like these but i pass and go to recent one.
We were talking about birthdays and stuff when i jokingly asked her about my date of birthday. I was smiling widely thinking she definitely knows of course. She has been in my birthdays for many years. But she said she doesn't remember and she knows EVERYONE's birthday from calendar. I got very upset and she realized that and instantly said a wrong number which made me angry more. I just told her i didn't expect this and she started hugging me and kissing my face, saying how much she loves me and she loves me like her family. She said again and again that she doesn't even know her mom's birthday date and stuff. She kept saying she loves me for like half and hour. At the end i just told her knowing birthday doesn't matter and just relax because i was hurt so badly and i couldn't bear her around me for a while.
The truth is that i care a lot about birthday because i believe if you really care , you will remember someone's birthday. I personally have a very weak memory and i struggle with that. But i remember a few of my friends' birthdays because it is Important in my opinion. I have memorised each of them with a code so i won't forget easily.
And... I wanna know your opinion about these matters. I feel very lonely when i care about people and they are like this in return. And now because i can't look at her the same way I used to, she keeps saying what is wrong and are you mad and I love you. I hate this part to be honest. I am also angry that she never even accepts her wrongs. She always brings excuses and at the end I am always the bad person in the story. If she had apologized, i would just pass from it easily. I would forget it in two days but now.....I just can't.
Do you think i am wrong or overreacting as she thinks??
What should i do really? I am not going to end my friendship with her and whenever my care for her decreases even a bit, she starts questioning me about it so i can't do that either (as it gets on my nerves eventually).