The ashy clouds blocked out the sun, blanketing the sky in a sombre light. Another long day at school followed by another dreary walk home (in September) with a bag full of bricks. To be honest, it was the norm for me by now. I’ve been doing it ever since I was 7.
It felt like days since I finally reached my apartment. Only to see a note on the front of the door. It was a lovely ‘welcome home’ sign which stated that me and my dad had until tomorrow morning to move out. My hands searched my pocket for either my key or some gum to relieve my stress. After being unable to find anything, my fingers prodded the doorbell repetitively, wishing for my dad to be inside; embracing me in. That would be the first thing to lighten the melancholy mood surrounding me.
Why do I bother having expectations? He’s not home.
I let my feet drag me anywhere. I don’t want to stop moving. I just want to absorb the cold weather, as a distraction. Rain begins to drizzle, and every drop on my face brings me back to reality.
My feet take me to the park, where smiles are echoing everywhere. Everywhere apart from where I sit on a bench like an owl, just observing for as long as I can. The autumn trees bless the children with the gold orange leaves. The children run to their parents, with their arms wide open, babbling along the way. A euphoric family of 4 surrounds the swings. Both parents attempt to achieve their children’s dream to swing so high that they can touch the clouds! The giggles that escape the children’s mouths bring them gargantuan beams of satisfaction. Memories. Those enchanting, affectionate and sweet memories I once had.
I unclasp my scratched golden locket from my neck, and open it to see a picture of my dad and I on one side, and my mother on the other. I’m trapped in a divorced relationship, picking sides in situations and never witnessing any more communication between them. The only thing that they have in common now is me. “Was it me? Was it my fault?” I ask myself over and over again, looking at my mother, and switching to my father. The penitent emotions overflow my mind and tears begin to flood my eyes. I shake my head, trying to remove the weight on my shoulders once again. As I lift my head towards the sky, I close my eyes, letting the breeze brush my nose. I take a deep breath. Slowly exhaling. As I open my eyes again, my shoulders become less stiff and I feel a bit more serene than before.
Now there were only a few people at the park.
I walked around the park for a bit while watching the sun arise. The collisions of light orange and soft yellow glowed the sky as if it was the main attraction. I wasn’t the only one that was drawn into the sunset. People have always been solicitous about the sun. I had the idea to take a photo of this moment. When I unlocked my phone, I noticed that there had been no replies to my messages from my father. Nothing.
Since it was almost dark, I hurriedly made my way onto the streets once again. I was befuddled on where to go for a while, until I walked past a familiar house. I had imagined it to be my friend’s but I was mistaken. The light bulb lit. I decided to go to her house, seeing as I still haven’t received any message. I sent one final message: I am going to Jasmine’s house. My fate decided to be heinous as my battery dropped to its final few percent. But it still shut down. I have no clue if I was even able to send it or not. I give up. He couldn’t send me a message or a call so neither shall I.
Here I am again. Another long day, with another long walk.
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