@Miaaaaaaaaa
Thanks

@Huh i can already feel your ignorance and stupidity through the internet and no matter what i type you will have an answer how about go fuck yourself you ugly monkey looking fuck
Good bye

@Wash-hands-33 yes but than on a adult note kids should avoid speaking about someone's very serious issue that is only to be discussed by adults so when someone is indirectly bringing up someone else's issue and they have no fucking idea how serious that issue is and how it's impacted them or how hard it was for that person to face that issue due to past attempts at suicide and 2 failed attempt with 1 serious overdoses than its something that legally becomes an issue when a bunch of fucks are making a joke of it call me a bad horrible person but what these fucks are doing is much more wrong to the point i will literally make a video while i kill myself so it can be a lesson and i seriously mean that shit if you want ill give a sample video keep laughing at one mans pain thats not wrong what i am doing is wrong very great Justice

@Bobfoot777 hey bro whats this whole issue with ella and being hurt

Please explain what the fuck is going on

Lets cry bitch lets do it you can keep hiding behind a keyboard slut go fuck a donkey or whateva

I am going mentally insane i am trying hard not to get back on drugs i am really wanting to change the drug i was using makes you turn into a horny sick fuck i am not that person this addictions took everything from me i know its what makes me depressed and suicidal i want to be a better friend, brother, father, husband if i still have that as a option but this is to much guys please i know im hated i know i am a horrible everything but i know the me off drugs the sulaman that is clean sober is a great person who helps people who didn't single people out who went out of his way for fighting for whats right who would go help others before himself who would never gossip or make fun of others because it would hurt them

I am hurt confused lost in this marriage problem and i made it worse by getting on to a drug that turned me into a horny piece of shit i spent days months crying asking God to help me change and that has finally started to happen and then i found out about the divorce and fell back again but i will fight through this o wont kill myself i am unstoppable i love myself and regardless if i cant be with her i will still love her and i will still be me normal drug free so she can be at piece and so i dont do stupid shit like usual i will be the father my mano needs i will be the best version of me i lost everything and i mean everything and still i smile even when im hurting inside my motorcycle just got stolen and lost my car and sold my truck to go fix my relationship and i fucked that all up and came back to being completely lonely and her blocking me again and me hating myself for my mistakes i am still here i have been through way more that I am leaving out yes 100000% my fault i take responsibility for my mistakes but i want happiness now i have spent most my life in chaos in out of jail getting shot at stealing robbing fighting and doing things i later regret and i am tired after my wife left and ive been alone i didn't see any reason to change because that was all i knew....

But now i am tired as fuck of the chaos the lies the bullshit i want happiness no i want joy because happiness is in someone else's hands joy is something no one can take it comes within and i want to still fight for my love i always will i dont give a fuck i wont bother her but i will make it known that i am forever sorry i owe it to my daughter to my in laws to her family to her i want that joy i don't know what a peaceful life feels like i freak out anytime things get good and fuck it all up and now im aware of my crazy fucked up behavior its not normal i admit i have alot of flaws but i ask allah daily to make me a better human porn sex drugs lies womanizing stealing i hate that shit but when you fuck up your whole family and lost everything you knew basically i was told she was going to visit her family i took her to the airport
October 6 2016 and i didn't see her since she went completely silent for 2 yrs i had to forcefully learn how to live again fuck anyone of you mother fuckers who will laugh and say its easy that shit hurt knowing the person who said they love you go on without you and then she called out of nowhere in 2018 i went crazy and i had to watch everything i said so i won't hurt her i was nervous i am human
I have feelings
I am someone i would die literally swear to god i would take a bullet for this woman
I needed her for my drug addiction recovery its a dieses google it fuckers
I was there even if i was fucked up i financially and mentally was there when she fought cancer but i was left alone that the worst you could do for a druggy
I am not angry
I am not hateful i confused tired hurt i feel like im a shitty person who has no value respect in her eyes i feel so badly abandoned there is always 2 side's to every story i admitted and will always admit my wrongs but leaving someone and completely cutting off your husband for 2 yrs and now again is not cool
But i know she's hurt i can keep going but it wont matter she can go years not knowing how i am while i get high on drugs praying god take her problems and put them on me give her happiness and take all her problems away
I swear on everything i don't let a soul say anything bad about her while i am being ridiculed and made a clown of i did die for her i lost myself i lost who i am my family and friends see it why did she lie why did she say she loves me
Why did she say she would never leave me
I chased her 3 yrs i praised her and tried to be someone im not to impress her i don't get how she never stood by me we could've been but she doesn't love me i think she has fallen in love with someone else amd if that's her happy place then mashallah may allah always keep her happy i am going to disappear i will quietly move fuck everyone who's about be a man fuck you when you have a family and lose it all then come tell me how you feel
So please tell me what is this whats goin on why please for the sake of one shitty human to you a good person of allah

@Miaaaaaaaaa
Thanks

I hope you get my msg sidra

You will always be the most sexiest and most beautiful woman for me i sold all my motorcycles and truck and dropped it all running for you... I wish things would've happened different

I always said you are a angel a farishta in my eyes i don't see any flaws in you so i know a shitty fuck like me does not deserve you... I love you ok smile regardless of whatever happens to me its not your fault

Ok please let my parents talk to manha occasionally and i am really fucking proud of you sidra you are so driven you will save girls from ass holes like me
I wish i would have saved some of my dignity and self worth but at least now i know there is alot of people to care for you

Official good bye
I cannot live everyday searching you up and worried about you and lost thinking or trying to forget because its impossible

I can't gather up enough words sidra i cant come up with that perfect sentence that might shed light on my ways.... I will say that i originally got lonely as hell in those 3yrs i didn't hear from you at all first 2 but i always spoke of you sidra i will be 100000% i didn't get better in that time i got so much more worse sidra i completely broke apart when the whole world said why are you waiting i said i know she is mad sidra i can sit and apologize for days but you know i even told you i spoke to girls but none ever ever take the spot you do... I ended up getting on depression meds i was down to 176lbs me who now weighs 220lbs sidra
I locked myself in after you left and when i came to pakistan i was coming off the medications and i don't remember anything to be honest i remember waking up in dallas and thats the day i went and got help because if i didnt i was going to die.... Look i will be happy just knowing that you become this powerful beautiful moti muj that i always knew you would but just had to deal with a fucker like me hey look allah listened to my dua remember when i saw the kabba my first dua was always keep her happy and look you are writing books and inspiring young woman all over the world allah ki qasam se i am so proud of you just promise you will fotget me and just move on i will not fight the case just promise you won't yell at manha and i will quietly disappear i was already doing that i was in Houston and i know you are aware because had to meet me but didn't...

Hey i am not supposed to be a part of this story i have made a fool out of myself in front of everyone already its my own fault. So the next chapters of your life you deserve peace happiness and not someone as low as me o genuinely wanna see you happy even if that may be in someone else's arms because i have blown my chances I'm laughing because i am sort of talking to you hey sidra im sorry for hurting you and i have to do it again forgive me but this was the first time i got off drugs and rehab started working out and was happy and i thought maybe we'd have a chance then i got the letter and i almost ended it that night im happy i didn't because i can say bye and sorry
I don't think you will ever know how much hate i have towrds myself for everything look please be happy live go explore and see the beauty in the world please sorry you won't ever be bothered by me i never loved any of the chicks i dedicated my everything to you from sleeping to walking up i cant do this anymore sidra i cant live like this i am going insane living like this i have to look at our room like it was when you left and clothes same way..
Take care of my mano jaan
And please forgive me for everything and what i have to do its the only way tell your family salam may allah be pleased with something i do

Ive been trying every other way to reach you and nothing i know you won't wanna talk now but i am tired of these childish games and i don't wanna live like this either i can't stand this shit