2017: I am going to post whatever the hell I want.
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I have a lot of opinions. And I have a lot of things I hold back. I’ve been so focused on pleasing everybody in my pm’s, building my reputation, and trying to keep everyone happy, that I forgot why I joined. Honestly. Tonight, I don’t give a shit.
So here it goes, what was 2017 to me.
Well as a few of you know, I’m from Brazil and I had to move here when I was 16. When I was 10 years old, my father passed away and I moved to Brazil with my alcoholic mom to live with my new stepdad. He was physically abusive in the beginning. When I was 14 years old I was raped by my stepdad, and he got me pregnant. My family quickly disowned me and I was in constant danger of my stepfather. I have a beautiful daughter, and she is five years old now. This year I’ve gotten so many comments about being a slut. But nobody knows me. Nobody knows my story. You don’t know about my scars, or my PTSD, you don’t know about any of it. So do me a favor, and don’t be so quick to judge people.
Last month I got beat up. I got my ass kicked by a racist woman outside the grocery store. I was speaking on the phone in Spanish. To my cousin back in Brazil. The lady yelled at me that I need to speak English, that my stupid spic language doesn’t belong in America. When I continued to ignore her, she broke my phone. And I did not fight. I didn’t fight it and ended up with two cracked ribs and a black eye. And it’s sad. Because it’s making me realize, I don’t belong here. Not every person is going to be the same. We are all different colors, black, white, purple, blue, yellow, blah blah blah. So for the new year, just try to be in someone else’s shoes for once. Spread love and peace instead of hate and violence.
I lost my grandma this year. It’s the circle of life, I’ve accepted it. Everyone has experienced loss at one point or another. But I’ve learned that you never know what you are going to miss, until it is gone. When you hit absolutely rock bottom, and you are completely alone and feel trapped, you remember what you used to have. So for this new year, tell your closes mates thank you, kiss your lover, hug your family. Spend as much time together while you still have the chance, you’ll never know when they are gone.
I know this isn’t my typical post, I know the wording is strange in some places, and I know it isn’t the happiest thing in the world, but i need to remind myself and anyone else who cared to read this. that life is going to get hard, but it only has something for us to learn.
I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. And happy new year in case I’m not on to say it.
Bye lovelies
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Wow.... how am I to appropriately respond to this?
Just.. wow.
Huge props to you, Willow. Very unique post. Certainly emotional. Pretty deep and thoughtful as well; I love that you also teach/remind about important things in here.I was quite shocked and hurt while reading this, but I was also moved by it.
I can only relate to a small amount of your scars, but I can more so relate in that you seem to know about the essence ofHope...
There's undoubtedly a lot I can say to elaborate, but in an attempt to shorten this post (and avoid cliches), I will remind you that you gotta' keep moving forward. Everyone does. Even the people who may seem to have no pain.
Keep. Moving. Forward.
Keep running. If you can't run...
Walk. If you can't walk...
Crawl.Just don't stop. This is all a test of strength, but there is no lesson before the test.
Only during the test, and after.Uphold the virtue of inner patience...
and don't you ever forget the positive in the world, no matter how much it may be blurred by the weight of the negative. It is actually possible to bend the negative with our own willpower, and formulate a positive from it...
We are human, after all. That's our superpower.
Thank you, stay strong.
Happy Holidays to all of you.
#SaveHope
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@willoww Sorry to hear you had rough life, WillowW. Everything happens for a reason. And I am not sure as to why you had to go through all of that, but one day you might find out.
Are things getting better lately, in any way?
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First of all, I have to apologize to you. I was a bit confused when you talked about your daughter and also that you were 19 years old, the same as me. I never thought about talking to you about it. I just shrugged it off. I thought that would have been inappropriate but I do regret it. But anyway, now that I have heard your story, although my regret was deepened, that feeling is completely overwhelmed by my admiration for you.
Although you had a great tragedy in your life, you never stopped. It didn't encumber you. You triumphed over it. You kept moving forward. The strength you displayed seems to be something I could never attain. The thing I suffered in my life is insignificant when compared to yours. Yet, I let it completely change me. I became a psychotic loner. Yet, you seemed happy in spite of all you went through. Were you really happy? If yes, how?
I now want to say a few words. Don't hold back. Don't try to always please others in pm. Don't hesitate. You don't need to keep everyone happy. You should think about yourself more. Share your opinion. Insult others. Express your feelings. Remember, One must save oneself before he could save others. You don't need to limit yourself not giving a shit just for today. You don't need to give a shit, ever.
You are strong. You endured through your despairs. You will survive the rest of your life but I just wanted to say that you will live your life a bit happier if you share your feeling more. If you have already found someone to share those, I would be happy.
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@black_beetle I hella like hugs.
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@willoww I'm Sorry. I have no words to say. I think you need a hug.
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@korglife17
Also, my 200th post, apparently.
Not that big of a deal Ig, but this is an even greater honor for me now.
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@willoww I’m sorry for everything you have gone through in life. But it has shaped you into this awesome person that is Willow. It is very brave of you to let your story out like that, so huge props to you. You have plenty of support here . Here’s to a great 2018
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@willoww I'm sorry for you life that your have being, I wish and hope you to never give in this life cause there are some people who is likely that same with you or worse but still keep on move like you, you such never let others step on you and just please be yourself who you wanted to be and don't give care about others people think cause it's will hurt you sometimes, will you try to please people and not yourself it can sometimes it hurt that not one understand you, Thanks for telling us that we such love someone who truly care for us and cherished the moment before it's too late
and I wish you to not have to suffer anymore and life you live like you oh list wanted to be and you are a very good person cause you don't give up your child even you know it will be very hard to take care of it and you are still 14 year old while you have it, Thanks for never give up yourself and that child it make me glad that still have people like you who is a very good person, it's good that you don't abort your child even though it will be very hard and please keep on move, never stop, never hesitate for that moment will change you life please and I really hope that God will give you a chance to be happy cause everyone deserves happiness in life and never again feels suffer or pain and Merry Christmas too and Happy New Year Eve to and you are a very brave person to share and tell everyone you story @Willoww
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@blooddrunk I made the post for others to recognize certain issues. It just so happens that I have experience in some of these problems. Things are always looking better. Every day of my life I wake up and tell myself it’s a new start, a new fantabulous day. I try not to look back, and continue to move forward. So I guess to answer your question in a shorter way, yes. Things are getting better. The world is constantly changing, and my life is having it’s ups and downs, just like anyone else. 2018 is a fresh start. And thank you for your comment :). Stay happy and stay cool
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@willoww Awww
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@nidzzz ayyyyy, you can choose to let shit break you, or you can choose to break it. As for my topics, glad to hear you like them
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@korglife17 I was waiting to see the gif you were going to use for this post ;). Three years ago I would’ve told you to take the word “hope” and shove it up your ass. BUT, I’ve learned that having others is what really gets ya through. I wake up every day, which I have said in another comment, and tell myself it’s a fresh start. A brand new day. I’ll be sure to keep your comment in mind, because I think it was more beautifully worded than my actual post. So thanks for all that you have done this past month. Don’t change for anyone
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@bushmurry said in 2017: I am going to post whatever the hell I want.:
I hope you weren't hoping for a reaction other than admiration, cos that's all I got! Bugger them all, let them lead narrow existences. I hope you know that yes,I have judged you. As a strong cool girl who doesn't need to be anything other than honest with me. I'm sorry the support in your real life to be so lacking
I was actually so nervous this morning to open up the comments
. That’s why my replies are so much later. I have many friends, not just in my everyday life but here as well. Thanks for not being a dick, and not encouraging my fear 
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@sir-devil Im slowly gathering my attitude from many people on this site. (I’m talking about you, @Kanuna-s-Clone ).
I’ve never been a very outspoken person. And that’s mostly because I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut. But your advice, is hella good, helllaa good. So thank you :), I’ll be sure to stop giving shits I guess.
As for the first part of your comment, if you ever want to talk about what you are going through, I’m pretty much always on here. I like to boil my “tragedy” down to being just like everyone else. Life has ups and downs. No ones problems are less severe than others. In the end, it all leads to the same thing, stress and sadness.
Your admiration is what confuses me most however. I am no one special, I am no stronger than a person trying to get through work during the day. No different from the people behind their screens feeling broken down.
Lastly, because I do need to establish this because I forgot to in my initial post, I will never go back in time and change it. Because I have a beautiful daughter, and she made the pain all the worthwhile, I like to look at it like something positive did come out of it, otherwise I’d probably be destroyed inside.
Thank you so much, and I’ll be sure to keep this comment in mind in addition to others you have made to other people.
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@leo_sihra said in 2017: I am going to post whatever the hell I want.:
@black_beetle i love hugs
The hugs for me bish, back off
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@willoww i have read your post 3 times,this has made me cry,it is the best lesson i hve learnt on this site.i don't have words to say,you are a brave girl,stay strong,god bless u
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@sup I see your private message. ‘‘Twas never my intention to make you cry.
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Honestly willow your such and inspirational person and thanks for last nighttt
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I hope you weren't hoping for a reaction other than admiration, cos that's all I got! Bugger them all, let them lead narrow existences. I hope you know that yes,I have judged you. As a strong cool girl who doesn't need to be anything other than honest with me. I'm sorry the support in your real life to be so lacking
