Just a place to look back at.

  • I am glad I never passed on what I felt like was right.

  • This is first whole smoke I took down today.
    Well, was about to be, killed half.

  • Put the fucking chicken in the marinade

  • Its 7:45 AM, just after graveyard shift, I guess I am staying up at least until 11am, waiting for my dealer to see if he wakes up early so I don't have to do that shit after I wake up. Listening to shitty tunes , LF that extra deluxe, that real shit, that swagger.
    I wanna hit a blunt.

  • Promised my self I aunt gonna be sitting around for nothing, so there, toe stretches are fine , I worked on knees during the night.
    Currently sitting with my feet up in the air , just like a baby does, toes are playing with each other.
    I know it will pay off down the long road that life walks.

  • I am tempted to light another one,.
    That temptation will have to wait.

    Almost forgot to take medicine.
    18th dentist appointment, you'll look back and laugh when you recall how long it took to make an appointment with these idiots.

  • It was just 21 minutes ago, usually I light a smoke every 45, but right now, it looks so fucking far away, and even when that time comes , I will struggle not to smoke a whole thing.
    Life give me strength.
    I'll try to find something interesting in meantime, look back upon some older posts , remember the feelings I had back then, remember the hardships I brought upon my self.
    Was it really all worth it or is it just another way I excuse my self for things I did.
    I don't think it is, at least now, will I feel the same if I win my life back ? IDK , probably will, I know what I didn't do, so I would do what was needed to be done.

  • Its not often I miss a girl, but there is this 1 girl I truly miss right now, maybe its not tears I cried for life, but sure are running down my cheeks as I type this.
    I wish I said more to her, how I felt about.
    We really didn't know each other much, she definitely knew more about me then I did about her, but she was so pleasant to talk to.
    Remembering how ....special she was for me in that moment makes me regret not speaking my mind, but how could I knew things would eventually come around for me, how could I have known things will start to get better.
    I couldn't , so I kept my mouth shut as I should.
    Its not just today, often I come here, and I remember her, such a fine gall couldn't had stayed for long, especially how people act around here.
    Its late now to feel bad about it, but regret is unavoidable.

    Maybe its just another excuse my head is making to light a smoke, "do it, you got hurt, it will help you relax, its arlight in this case to have a whole smoke".

    I hope not, I'd really feel like shit then.

  • Well ain't I a buzz killer

    Head up soldier !
    This shit always cracks me up, its inspiring and funny at the same time.

  • Hell.

    I am not gonna run from the thing they call past
    Look my self in the eyes, concepts where placed in my head.

  • about an hour ago
    Less go, not even half a smoke

    Lets see what else can I dig up, and remember. Sure hell ain't a lot I posted, I should had been doing this more often.
    Guess its a note to my self.
    Only fear is that with time it will be lost in this virtual space and I will regret not writing a dairy.
    Tho at least I can be a bit less direct about things here, make it more fun for my self to decode what I was thinking.

  • Ah yes, leave this beautiful song here, just in case you didn't do it before.
    One of my favorite songs, I love dancing , I'll get better at it as I grow stronger each day, more given to moment with how I feel and not imagining how I would like things to be.
    is what it is, enjoying either way, all the way.

  • It was really nice when I went out to bluz i pivo, seeing how people sit around , not able to fully enjoy them self, just because reasons I am not gonna be typing down.
    At least I had opportunity to let my self go a bit, bring up the best of what I am.
    But I miss them in those moments , I can't see trough the wall they built in front of their true beings so they seem so ugly.

  • This man gets it.

  • I don't really love this one, and I will never forget its name, but just in case, you never know.

  • Gosh, what a gem.

  • Brass Monkey

  • I wanted to smack the monkey, but I know I am not gonna do it properly, so I chose not to.
    Smart boy. Take care of your monkey.