need help - how to force myself to become someone im not

[joyandwhimsy]

new here. if anyone is willing to listen & share insight, i would appreciate it. im in college now. my parents are starting to pressure me to get a boyfriend & get married & have children. but the problem is, i dont see myself in a relationship in the future & ive never been interested in it. it doesnt help that im not the most gender conforming person there is in terms of my presentation. these days, i hear my relatives gossip & my parents express disappointment that im not feminine, have a boyfriend, passion for nursing unlike their family friends. unfortunately, ive always been this way. i honestly dont want to live anymore at this rate bc my very existence disgusts my family. any genuine tips on forcing myself to conform to their idealized idea of me? ive already disappointed them enough. i wish to be normal.

if anyone got this far, i truly thank you for taking the time to read this, i wish u a lovely day.

[devilmoon]

Firstly, your parents cannot force or pressure you to do anything, no matter how small or how big the thing is. Having a boyfriend or not, should be completely your choice,heck relationships without love or which are forced don't even work. If they can't understand your point and your terms, then just move out, leave them. I know that's something very easy to say but hard to implement but its much more better than doing something you don't want to. Many people want to be single these days and its absolutely alright. You have to prove nothing to anyone, just be who you are, and control your life the way you want. The problem isn't you, its their mentality