Confession - Drugs



  • I'm gonna make a confession here because there is so many supportive people I am not afraid to talk about anything here.

    I was 18. New to life and I got lost a bit. Had some problems with my parents, school, finances (debts) and everything was kinda overwhelming.
    Had no job, money and family to support me. I was okay from the outside but broken inside.

    Year later, unfortunately I came across drugs for the first time in my life. I got so addicted to weed that I couldn't imagine my morning without 2g weed for breakfast.

    The world was less depressed place and everything seemed normal when I got high.

    Somehow, I got job at the office then, but I resigned after while, because I was more like a slave. I bought one way ticket to the England From my last money and I wanted to change my life. Oh god.. I was so wrong! I started with all kind new drugs for me (coke, LSD, shrooms, MDMA etc.).
    There were few days that I had to sleep on the streets of London.
    I was cold, broken (again) and just wanted to see my family again.
    That led me to get sober and take some action in my life finally.
    I was exhausted, tired and had almost no money (..again).
    After year in England I came back to my country and haven't touch the drugs since then.

    It's been almost four years.

    Nowadays, I am fine.. but just fine. I kinda live a ,,normal life" because my family is really supportive, I freelance photography and I've met many new people last few months. I just feel stress and pressure on me.
    But I think that my past started to hunt me down 'cuz I remember that uplifting feel when I got high on weed. I was thinking about to smoke a bit but I'm afraid of falling right into the addiction again that could be worse..

    I can still resist, but I don't know for how long.

    upset



  • @Tomas98 said in Confession - Drugs:

    The world was less depressed place and everything seemed normal when I got high.

    Why didn't you try anti-depressants or anti-psychotics as they are so cheap and much safer than recreational drugs?



  • Man you do what you feel, I am not giving you any suggestion here .. just ask yourself is it worth to go back to same life feeling broken inside?? And If you think this way you do not touch the drugs, basically you are addicted to addictions also if you think you can have a balance smoking it go for it ..



  • Don't worry, you are doing great! You have proved that you have the strength, now keep up the good work. Sounds like you are a creative person. Keep your mind busy doing some creative works.

    All the best!
    ❤



  • @Quazi I have ever really tried to sort this problem out consciously. Like.. I knew smth was wrong but drugs ,,were fun". I haven't blame drugs for what was happening in my life - drugs just didn't help to it.
    If I was thinking about taking some meds such as anti-deppresants, it would be in the way of fun, unfortunately. 😕



  • @mel-vas Mel, thank you for your words. ❤
    I feel like keeping my mind busy and do smth creative holds me from demons. We will see if mind is stronger then them, but I hope and believe, it is.
    Otherwise, thank you again. ☺



  • @Tomas98 I do understand what domain you are inn but it's weired for sure also balance is important in life can't give reasons for ourself saying life is weired because we couldn't make it what we could do.. so far you did good and keep it up all the best, all the energies of all the universes bless you and guide you what ypu seek most !!



  • @knownsense Thank you for your comment ❤
    Overall, this is exactly the way I feel it. It's just a weird struggle because you know what was the past, how you perceived things back then and you are facing the same shit, but with some experiences. 🤔
    Life is kinda weird sometimes.



  • I think I can understand.
    Just tell yourself that you won't do it again, you are the one in control! You have said no and it means no!
    You should also think that would it be worth it to go back to that old life?.
    It's good that you are scared of it, you should be. This is a good sign that you are remorseful and that you will eventually break away from it.
    Finally, keep doing something in life, be productive, keep learning, or working.



  • @Tomas98 You might have needed It , to make a good move towards a better future 🙂 we learn from our mistakes so It's not a shame to mistake but the mistake is to not wake up early . Good Luck In ur " New Life"


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