Probably I'd set the machine to pot-luck random. That way, if the person I met was boring or a C, my low opinion of humanity would be VINDICATED, and I'd win. If, on the other hand, they were cool and interesting, that would mean my preconceptions were WRONG, which is a healthy thing. WIN-WIN.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
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