i have a rape fantasy...
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i think somethings wrong with me. i got sexually assaulted last year but since then all that turns me on is being raped... the thought of being called "daddys slut" or being a sex slave and being used over and over again against my will turns me on so much.. i hate myself for it, i am disgusted with myself.
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calm down it is such trauma
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@mohammad-hout exactly its a traumatic experience. its something no parent wants there daughter to go through. it ruins so many peoples lives and i get turned on by it.. it doesn't make sense...
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what i can help with u can talk with me if u want to
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@mohammad-hout i dont know what there is to help with anymore... somethings wrong with me and i dont know if i can change it
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@aaarmani u can always change what u really want u have to sit clear ur mind or talk about the rape experience ..... or something make u feels happy
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@aaarmani send me a private message
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@aaarmani
U need a doctor :) -
@King-key-33 i was thinking same thing. a shrink would be best
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@Shintaryuu
When I read that I feels like I'm a psychiatrist n she is my patient π π -
@aaarmani I'm trying to reply to this yet the site isn't letting me π€ I don't know if my comment is too long or something, but I'm sure I've seen longer posts here before. My internet is fine and the site seems to be because other people have been commenting... I'll try to break my comment down into two parts and see if that helps
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@aaarmani This is truly a really complex issue. I could make suggestions as to what is going on with you, but it wouldn't be right to assume anything.
What I can say is that what you went through was wrong and should never have happened; I am sorry you went through it. Talking about it is positive though, and it may have awoken feelings in you which you were not aware of but near the surface anyway. That is to say, you are associating having these feelings with this incident, but the two may be less connected than one might first assume. The trope of "damaged girl (or boy) now needs kink" is an old and flawed clichΓ©; not that damage doesn't sometimes bring these things out in us too. It can be about taking control of our experiences.
Whether your feelings are directly to do with what you went through or not I can promise you that you are not alone in having them and that there is NOTHING wrong with you. What it is important to keep mindful of though is the difference between fantasy and reality. The difference between actual rape, and situations where you can feel free to express yourself.
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@aaarmani I'm part of a fast-growing online BDSM and fetish community, and have been on the kink scene in one way or another for twenty years now. In our community we have such a thing as CNC - "consensual non-consent" - and it is far more common than you might expect. I have made friends and chatted with community members in their teens right up until their sixties who want or indeed regularly enjoy the things you describe. Some have been through bad experiences as you did, and many just simply want control taking away from them. So they give consent to somebody they trust to treat them in a non-consensual fashion - act out rape scenarios, for want of a better way of putting it. And lots do this with their regular long-term partners/Doms, whereas others choose not to.
I hope I've helped ease your mind a little. If you want to ask anything I don't pretend to be an expert but I can to my best to answer, or I can ask things in the community forums on your behalf which maybe other women who have similar thoughts would be able to share insight on. I hope things get sorted for you one way or another.
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@aaarmani I think it has deeply changed the way you used to think. I am sorry to hear that you got sexually assaulted last year. I don't hate you for having sexual fantasies at all, there are a lot of people who might have them. If you wish to discuss your issue with me privately, my chats are always open. :) I may not be a counselor, but I'm a teen who has seen the dark side of humanity.
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@Sophie19 i feel same way lol, i was like so let me get pin and a pad talk to me about it lets get to root of the problem LOL
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@Matt_Aranha this really helped.. i felt like i was the only person that felt like this..
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@marnnnni Help out is all people can do for each other sometimes, especially during days like these, and it is so good to know I was able to do that for you today.