The forest that keeps

[Rabbitboy]

The wake I attend
So abruptly to rend
As I rise to The oaky feel
To a wound I must heal
A gaze upon the look of crimson
I realize a fate in This boreal prison
To arms I stand
Without weapon at hand
Come face me you fool!
I am no tool!
But the walls do not pay
For the attention I say
Come throughout halls a following night
Is this the truth of my own blight?
To hide my own in the maze a hood
As I am a part of this accursed wood

[Rabbitboy]

Let me know what you think!

[Rabbitboy]

Read in a g-man voice for better results

[Jackie Green]

@rabbitboy It's definitely a good start. Though, I'm maybe not the best person to be critiquing poetry, but I would recommend reading it aloud a couple times and see if there are any places you can place a comma, because I think that to create a better flow and rhythm for this poem you would need a few breaks or pauses.

[Rabbitboy]

@jackie-green yeah my grammar with commas is rock bottom

[Jackie Green]

@rabbitboy Then, read it out loud and every time you take a pause while you're reading add a comma if there is no punctuation mark.

[saine saine]

Hope Great work you got here.. i learned a lot today^_^thanks for sharing...

[Rabbitboy]

@saine123 comments like these make it worth making

[Anonymous_me]

@rabbitboy so far so good, u definitely got potential so I'm looking forward to more, lol I love were u got ur inspiration from though