Posts made by SuperStressef

@The-Mods I’ve been with him since we were 17 years old and we are both 22 now and he’s always had a problem with wanting to be single but also not wanting to let me go, and I am in no way overbearing or the type to try and keep a leash so I’ve always let it be known that he was free to leave me alone and live the single life at anytime cause I wouldn’t allow him to have the best of both worlds, but he’d always twist it somehow, make it seem like it was complicated to be in a relationship when in all reality he just simply wanted to be free to do what he wanted while still having me in his corner. He developed this tactic of being an asshole and showing distant and aggressive behavior to create space so he could feel justified in doing not so faithful things behind my back, or getting over angry at the slightest things so he’d have more of an excuse to again feel justified for doing things behind my back. He’d come back and apologize for his behavior when he’d see me distance myself and I would always forgive because younger me always thought that was “being there for him” but I’m not that 17 yr old girl anymore and a little more than a year ago maybe, I started looking for him to finally love me back as hard as I’ve loved him and he and he would always act as though I was asking to much of him. So I stopped. I didn’t fight his distance, I didn’t constantly question his habit of getting overly angry nor did I put my best foot forward in trying to fix it. I stopped wanting his affection and could careless for his attention and just simply became a whole different person from the teenage girl that was so in love and obsessed with him. And oddly enough that’s when he started to slowly show me the love that I have always wanted and I kind of don’t want it. Sort of curious to see if this could actually be it, the relationship with him that I have always craved, sort of just ready to focus on myself and pour the love I’ve desperately tried to give him into myself

@crockrose this is probably the hardest thing I’ve had to finally accept that just because I loved him so hard for so many years doesn’t mean he has to return it. Cant expect to receive what you give from everyone

I am falling out of love with my husband. He took too long to return the love I’ve always put out. I spent years putting up with things he would never take from me and years dealing with him getting overly angry with me at the slightest of things. Things have been going somewhat smoother only because I’ve dimmed my light and I feel dead inside and he’s seemingly been loving me “better” lately and I don’t even care to receive it honestly. Part of me still loves him and wants to see if we can finally be in a steady healthy marriage after so many shaky years and part of me wants to continue to drift away from him mentally so when the time comes I won’t fall back into old patterns finding myself begging him to love me or to let me love him