Posts made by radioactive45

thank you. what you have said is maybe the kindest words I have heard over the years. thank you for these words that mean so much

my feelings that I had experienced when I was a 10 yr old girl

I am me. I am alone. I am broken like my wings has fallen. I am no longer what I use to be. I am lost between time. I frequently mix my dreams and my memories. I am lost and can’t find a way out of here. I have a broken heart because I am perfectly imperfect. I am tears that are being washed by the tide and can’t escape this world. I am gone. I am upset. I am alone. I am weak. I can’t find any colours. I am not worth it. I am never needed. I was used to the glory that I forget this was never meant to mine. I am a flower in the cold. I am useless. I am falling. I am in pain. I am in tears. I am sorry that I couldn’t stop in time. I am not her anymore. I am the reason to fear. I am the fault of every headache. I alone am too much to bear. I am different from inside and outside, but my soul is the same. I am the pain in the burden of nightmares. I am someone who can’t be accepted. I am someone who is too difficult to understand. I always have a doubt if someone cared if I disappear.

But sometimes I find a quiet place and shut my eyes and breathe then focus. Sometimes I feel lost, but I love the people around me and love brings you home. Being honest is always interesting. When I want to grow up, I want to be kind. When my hearts hurt, I wrap them with friendship I shares tears and time, till they wake hopeful and happy again. I'm just about to do something that will let me forgive and forget. I will change.

That what I will do, so to those who I hurt give me another chance.

just because I am quiet and get on with my work. doesn't mean I am mute, I am just afraid after everything I been through. I have been through bulling, cyber-bullying, jokes that are actually painful to listen. yes, I can't hear that well. probably because
I am not pretty, I am coughing all the time. but is that all of me. that why I don't talk and have mental-break-downs. you want be to be the perfect daughter, sibling, friend or student every single day. you never actually think that I am sick of it. I may be the quiet girl but is it not suppose be action speaker louder than words. so why do hate me? what have I ever done to you for you to hate me. why do I have to cry in the bathroom and why do I have to fake a smile everyday.

self-cautious