it’s so pathetic and stupid. for context, I’m fifteen, I’m a girl, I’m in the US. this past year has been hell, but in all honesty, I don’t remember a time when things didn’t suck. I was bullied through all of elementary and middle school. it’s changed now. I started off the year with three friends from middle school. two male, one female. I got a huge crush on one of the boys and we started going out at the same time the girl and other guy did. those were my only friends. the guy seemed so sweet but he would pick apart everything I did and make me do stuff I didn’t want to. I started feeling like he was the only one who cared about me. my dad was being kind of a dick at the time. he’s usually not a hitter, but he hit me a couple times. whatever. the guy took advantage of me and at one point, raped me. I gained the courage to break up with him and told my other two friends. they just made fun of me for it, saying I wished I had a good relationship like theirs. I’ve been having flashbacks to it. it lead me to attempt suicide in February but I failed. my self harm has been awful. I’ve been having dreams of sexual assault that happened to me as a young kid I totally repressed. my eating disorder is all that’s been keeping me sane tbh.
over quarantine, I started dating this guy I was friends with for the first time since my past relationship. he asked me out, he said a lot of sweet things, and then all of a sudden he said he couldn’t do a relationship right now, and that he’d get back to me and that I just needed to wait for him. then he publicly got into a relationship with someone else within legit 2 days, and unlike when he was with me, he posted pictures of them everywhere and didn’t keep the relationship secret. so of course that’s a blow to my ego.
there’s another guy I’ve been crushing on for a while. our age difference is kinda gross, since he’s 18, but I really like him still. he was calling me cute and inviting me to stay the night with him n stuff and then kind of dropped off, and then I saw on Instagram he’s been dating his girlfriend for like months.
no one actually likes me, they just wanna use me for sex and self validation. even my acquaintances just use me to affirm their egos. I wish I was never fucking born.

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I’m here for you. That’s so fucking tragic, Rest In Peace.

I’d slit my wrists and bleed out while OD’ing on something fun.

it’s so pathetic and stupid. for context, I’m fifteen, I’m a girl, I’m in the US. this past year has been hell, but in all honesty, I don’t remember a time when things didn’t suck. I was bullied through all of elementary and middle school. it’s changed now. I started off the year with three friends from middle school. two male, one female. I got a huge crush on one of the boys and we started going out at the same time the girl and other guy did. those were my only friends. the guy seemed so sweet but he would pick apart everything I did and make me do stuff I didn’t want to. I started feeling like he was the only one who cared about me. my dad was being kind of a dick at the time. he’s usually not a hitter, but he hit me a couple times. whatever. the guy took advantage of me and at one point, raped me. I gained the courage to break up with him and told my other two friends. they just made fun of me for it, saying I wished I had a good relationship like theirs. I’ve been having flashbacks to it. it lead me to attempt suicide in February but I failed. my self harm has been awful. I’ve been having dreams of sexual assault that happened to me as a young kid I totally repressed. my eating disorder is all that’s been keeping me sane tbh.
over quarantine, I started dating this guy I was friends with for the first time since my past relationship. he asked me out, he said a lot of sweet things, and then all of a sudden he said he couldn’t do a relationship right now, and that he’d get back to me and that I just needed to wait for him. then he publicly got into a relationship with someone else within legit 2 days, and unlike when he was with me, he posted pictures of them everywhere and didn’t keep the relationship secret. so of course that’s a blow to my ego.
there’s another guy I’ve been crushing on for a while. our age difference is kinda gross, since he’s 18, but I really like him still. he was calling me cute and inviting me to stay the night with him n stuff and then kind of dropped off, and then I saw on Instagram he’s been dating his girlfriend for like months.
no one actually likes me, they just wanna use me for sex and self validation. even my acquaintances just use me to affirm their egos. I wish I was never fucking born.

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