absolutely, I truly mean what I said. I've never been on this site before... not even sure if i'm doing it "right", lol. But I saw your post and really hope you just try to have some compassion for yourself (easier said than done) and see what help there is because you deserve it.

oh my gosh, please hold on to hope, even if just for today:) I am grateful we could chat. Sucks that struggling in the chat room gets you a poor "score"... I understand it is hard for people to know how to deal with, there should be safety measures in place to actually -help- people if there is potentially life threatening dialogue going on, ya know? What do I know? We are all doing the best we can at any given moment... at least I try to believe that. btw, you 100% are somebody... right now exactly as you are. p.s. i'm not a dude, hope that's ok, lol

will do, thanks! take care

I am going to try and sleep. You've probably seen the "hot ones" challenge on youtube with different celebrities... that got me through a tough night last night, I just needed a really good laugh (and distraction). Maybe check out Terry Crews, Gordon Ramsey, Shia Lebouf, or Paul Rudd among others on the "hot ones" challenge, just an idea:)

Just wanted to correct the info from earlier. the link below has a few 24 hour hotlines for Australia.
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/australia-suicide-hotlines.html
24 Hour service
Hotline: 08 93 81 5555
Hotline: Youthline: 08 93 88 2500
Hotline: Freecall Countryline: 1800 198 313
Hotline: TTY: 08 93 82 8822
Website: thesamaritans.org.au

I missed that part... where in Australia?

we all need each other. most of the time, I'm scared shitless... of people, of way too much to list. I've been in paralysis for years... I don't pretend to have answers. What state are you in, if I could ask?

absolutely, I truly mean what I said. I've never been on this site before... not even sure if i'm doing it "right", lol. But I saw your post and really hope you just try to have some compassion for yourself (easier said than done) and see what help there is because you deserve it.

@James17 Hi again, I have struggled for a long time with suicidality (seriously) so I hear you and know the pain and difficulty can seem insurmountable... please hold on, you are worth it. you may already have it, but if not, the 24/7 national suicide hotline (800) 273-8255. I am concerned that people on here may not be able to offer all of the support you need/deserve dealing with the kinds of losses you are dealing with. I say this as a fellow human being who suffers and who also lost my best friend to suicide.

@James17 hi... I am sorry you are having such a rough time... I read your profile and you sound like a really kind and compassionate person. Though it is a really hard place to be right now, the world needs you.