Female coworker physically assaulting me. Am I going crazy?
So i'm an NCO in the military which is a fancy way of saying that I run a certain portion of my section. One of my troops has repeatedly been hitting me in the neck / throat area whenever I say something that bothers her. She has done this a total of 3 times.
At first I thought it was fine and to just "Suck it up" and be a man, but after thinking about it for a while it dawned on me that if I were to do the same to her I'd probably be in jail.
Usually in the work environment we joke and laugh with each other. Its a very close nit family kinda deal. At the time my boss who is much higher ranked than me (a female) was in the room with us. So every now and then I'll crack a joke when I think it can get a rise out of the shop. In this case the female that hits me lets just call her Amber said "Man it smells like onions in here!". I replied "Probably because your breath stinks". She then Karate chopped the back of my neck with significant force. It was easy to see that I was not okay about this and I was expecting leadership to jump on that shit like a wild fire, but instead my boss just told everyone to relax. This bothered me, no one wanted to stand up for me at all. Is what I said deserving of being struck?
I also did not want to blow up in front of everyone nor possibly embarrass my troop in front of higher ups. So I decided to cool down and just think about it. Try to understand how she grew up and maybe that kinda reaction was normal. No matter how many times I broke it down for myself I could not rationalize it.
Later that day my other NCO came up to me and said "Bro, this is the third time she's hit you are you okay with that?". When he told me this, it clicked that this type of reaction is not normal.
So after a couple hours I asked to speak to her in private for a bit and let her know what was going through my mind. I told her "I love the fact that our section is so closely nit, but I really don't like it when you hit me would you mind not doing that anymore?".
She said "Sure"
She never apologized and kinda held the attitude of "You deserved it".
I'm pretty sure if this happens again, i'm probably just going to give her some written counselling (paperwork) on it. I feel helpless and i'm kinda losing sleep over this event.
Can anyone tell me what I could have done better in this situation? Should I just let it go and move on? I feel like no justice has been done.
@chapstick You did the right thing and probably now she won't do it so don't overthink it.
I am never in a place to judge other humans, but you asked for a suggestion. So i will go for it.
Your temper and attitude are remarkable. Getting hit and letting it cool down is unique. Not everyone can handle physical damage and just move on.
On the other hand it can look like a weakness to other humans, making them think bad about you how you are not being able to defend yourself (physically nor verbally).
Especially if a female human attacks a male human it can come of as "unmanly". It is very idiotic, but humans are sadly like that...
I have no information in which military you are currently in service but my experience has shown that one needs to make themself "superior" in order to get away from harms way (Like pranks, misuse and abuse).
Like animals, humans tend to respect the "alpha one" the most and will hesitate to annoy / hurt them. I think the same applies here, too if such violent behaviour occurs.
In order to be respected by everyone, one needs to show everyone else that there is a fine line that they should not dare to cross over if they don't want any trouble.
Just raising your voice can change everything. Or staring angrily deeply into thier eyes, making them feel guilt (using their emotions against them is always beneficial).
Let them know that you cannot be treated like dirt. You are a human being after all.
And if you feel confident about yourself and if you think you should be treated better, then let them know.
I do not wish for you to cause more trouble then it is worth, so you should only do the above "suggestions" if something like you have described before will occur again.
Let it go and move one. Alas, life always tests one for their patience.
Silence causes violence.
And no. You are not crazy.
She is = )
Thanks for the input, I'm sure just being honest with her was enough.
Chicken meat last edited by
@chapstick nah ur not shes a twat