Live, because then you can try stuff out. Go to a try-out martial arts class, go for a walk in the woods, run trough the city or read American Gods by Neil Gaiman, learn how to use Kali Linux and hack, go on the internet and search for how to make some sort of science project. I see you have a popcorn machine, take some corn and a straw and spit tin cans from an increasing distance, learn python (coding language), go to http://darebee.com/ and start an adventure, search for people playing D&D and do the same, go to some sort of random religious place and ask about there practices and become that religion's follower for a week, draw some stuff (I recommend a comic of some sort), learn various forms of poetry and make one to present in some nearby poetry slam evening. I don't know. I don't want t be repetitive of some sort, I tried to kill myself a couple of times, but DO NOT kill yourself. Even if it is just for the sake of doing something random and new.