I was assembled out of boredom by a boy with no sense of aesthetic equilibrium. Despite being a floppy horrifying mess, I try to make the most of my time by lobbying for world peace, and talking with strangers.

Turn ons: riding corgis, punk music, long walks on the beach, cuban cigars, and other sentient compilations of compost material

Turn offs: scavenger birds, terrorism, my cabbage ribcage, and long winters