@Lonelyloser Hi, I'm 45 and have been struggling with suicidal ideation for forty years. Yes, since the age of five I have had thoughts of killing myself so I know exactly what you are going through mentally. Although everyone's personal experience and degree of struggle is different, the pain and suffering is real for all of us who find ourselves in the bottom of the black hole.
I am speaking from years of experience when I say that sometimes we don't get over it. However we do find a way through it. I still experience triggers every day that remind me that I have to manage a very delicate relationship between my emotions and irrational thoughts. It took years of therapy and training to learn to develop proper coping skills and train my brain to recognize negative triggers. Once we know what is behind our negative thinking, we can move toward positive change even by taking small steps.
When you think about the big picture of our mental health, we are responsible for it ourselves alone. No one else can change it for us. So in a way, you are right that we are in a sense lonely. However, we can Express small amounts of gratitude and be thankful for little things like WiFi, or the internet, or chatrooms. If we do that, we might gain an increment of happiness in knowing that we really aren't alone.
You reached out. People responded. It's a positive step forward in the right direction. Trust me when I day that it's not easy. I know. It may be a life long fight. But as long as you keep reaching out, you will not battle alone. ❌🔴❌🔴❤❤❤
