Best posts made by salvation

Im struggling to apologize right now. My mom was yelling at me for not taking care of myself, and that im not studying at all. She says she just wants me to be like my friends. Heres the thing, ive been so hooked up with being different its like an obsession. Anyway my grandmas really sick and is kind of dying and i have no idea how to even comfort my mom. Im so terrible at this that my mom thinks i dont care? But i genuinely want to show her love and stuff but now that we argued i dont want to just go to her. Its like i feel so up to doing it but then theres always something pulling me back? Why?