While reading this I was reminded of myself.lol. My take on this would be pretty simple. I think guys or anyone for that matter likes people who have POWER and dominance it might seem normal but not many people have the confidence to do what they like and be upfront about what they don't. Like you said you became violent to people who made you uncomfortable and you were assertive about it. It was the case with me too, in elementary even tho I never got into physical fights but always called out what I thought was wrong, and didn't think what others would think of me. I think that was when people started approaching me and guys started asking me out more.
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RE: is violence attractive to people?? why??