@otsbunny everything went sideways, I even tried committing suicide 5 times this year since we started to fall apart.... I miss him so much, and I dont know what to do... it kills me to wake up and realize ive lost him

Im freaking out, I need advice, I recently just got out of my first real relationship and it physically hurts to live for real.... Its been a month since we last talked and he has a new girl, and Im so confused :( I really thought id marry him and i need advice, theres so much hurt I cant get over....